Someone contact the people at Guinness, because Thursday’s episode of Scandal had to have set a new record for the highest number of sexual interruptions in a single hour of television.
The first interruption came immediately, with Olivia taking Curtis back to her apartment — only to discover Fitz standing at her door. (For those keeping score at home, this is the third week in a row that we’ve been subjected to this awkward encounter, thanks to the magic of time jumps.) Though Olivia sent Fitz packing the first time (“You can’t have me!”), his follow-up visit proved far more successful. “Why are you here?” she asked, to which he immediately replied, “Because you are here. Because I love you! Everything that went wrong happened when we weren’t together. I was better with you, and you were better with me.” Boom. Cue the kiss.
Of course, not everyone was celebrating the long-awaited “Olitz” reunion. Jake, for example, accused her of spending too much of B613’s resources on following Fitz, rather than dealing with actual international crises. “Are you Command, or are you someone’s girl?” he asked her. “You can’t be both.” But because no man tells Olivia Pope how to live her damn life, she proved she can be both, first by creating a special division of the FBI to track down children of color — and then by confronting her father about his little visit to Vermont. She even stole his precious dinosaur skeleton! #RIPAnnie
Mellie was also getting cozy with the President of Bashran (“Is there… anything else you need?”), but the conversation was shut down as soon as Olivia burst into the room — to ask about Fitz, no less. The heat briefly turned back up during the two presidents’ post-summit drink in the Oval Office, but things got awkward when they accidentally touched a very small amount of hand skin, so he bounced. “He makes me feel all twitchy inside,” she later confided in Cyrus. “It’s intoxicating, everyone always doing what I say. I started to think, ‘I can do whatever I want, whoever I want,'” at which point she realized she might be turning into “one of those old white men” who held the office before her.
Those “twitchy” feelings became even more complicated when President Rashad was suddenly overthrown via a rebel coup in Bashran. (How does one restore peace in the Middle East while trying to protect a man who is no longer recognized as a world leader?) Her response to the situation was, for better or worse, very presidential.
Hell, even Cyrus had an opportunity for sex thrown his way this week — though he gets full responsibility for letting that one slip through his gross fingers. After visiting his new pal Fenton to tell him he couldn’t accept his $100 million painting, Fenton invited him inside to *ahem* play with his toys, only for Cyrus to rebuff his offer. And why, you ask? “I have standards,” Cyrus told Mellie, comparing Fenton to Michael. “I can’t go from that to that.” (Editor’s note: Considering what a damn garbage bag Cyrus is, does he really think he deserves better? And is he forgetting that he only got with Michael because he literally paid him for sex?)
Following his little gab sesh with Mellie — and how weird was that, by the way? — Cyrus decided to battle his initial hesitation, returning to Fenton with a $20 bill as “payment” for the painting. I think he also promised to teach him about politics, but you know it’s just going to be a 24/7 no-pants party. Who does Cyrus think he’s fooling?
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