American Horror Story: Cult Recap: Blue-Haired Man Group

American Horror Story: Cult

Tuesday’s American Horror Story: Cult offered viewers a brief reprieve from the usual Ally-Ivy drama, focusing instead on Kai’s efforts to unite a band of enraged weirdos for a much greater purpose.

Weirdo No. 1 is good ol’ Harrison Wilton, who meets Kai the day after Donald Trump is elected. Kai requests him as his new personal trainer at the gym, though it soon becomes clear that the Smurf-haired rebel is looking for more than just a new workout pal.

Frankly, Kai is drawn to Harrison for two reasons: He recognizes that the part-time beekeeper (1) appears to be “strong,” and (2) is miserable with his lot in life. Specifically, he’s tired of having to be the one to clean up after people when they masturbate in the steam room — and can you really blame him?

Yada yada, Kai convinces Harrison to murder his dick of a boss, cut off his head and hands, and dump the torso in a landfill — a plan that’s executed surprisingly smoothly. Hell, Meadow barely even bats an eye when she walks in on Harrison beheading the dude in their bathtub. (She also develops a relationship of sorts with Kai, designing creepy clown masks for his dark purposes.)

We should also discuss the insane sexual chemistry between Harrison and Kai — and you can’t say it’s unspoken, because it’s very much spoken. Not only does Kai masturbate in front of Harrison, making loud noises and maintaining eye contact throughout, but Kai also tells him straight-up, “Listen, I like pussy. But if someone is in my life, man or woman, and they’re a part of my crew, one of my people, I will fight for them. And if they wake up in the morning with a hard-on that won’t quit, I will find a way to let them know how much I love them.” Yowza!

And it isn’t just Harrison who becomes acquainted with Kai during this little journey to the past; Kai also works his way into the heart (and mind) of local newswoman Beverly Hope, who feels that her sexist boss (played by Dermot Mulroney) is unfairly overlooking her in favor of a younger, whiter reporter named Serena Belinda (played by Emma Roberts). In Bev’s defense, she’s completely right.

“The world has become tiny,” Kai tells Beverly in an attempt to win her over. “The fear in a small town in Michigan can affect the country — the world — in a few days.” But not even Beverly could have predicted what would happen next: While filming a segment about a local pet adoption fair, Serena is brutally murdered by a gang of angry, knife-wielding clowns.

Then comes the most puzzling part of the episode: Ivy is groped by a Trump supporter (Chaz Bono’s Gary Longstreet), when suddenly Winter arrives and jumps to her defense. The women grab a cup of coffee to calm their nerves, but commiserating quickly evolves into plotting Gary’s kidnapping — you know, just to keep him occupied until the election has passed.

Unfortunately, Kai frees their captive with about an hour left to spare, convincing him that the only way he’s going to break free of Ivy and Winter’s handcuffs is by literally sawing off his own hand. (Which probably explains why episode begins — on election night — with Gary screaming, “Welcome to Trump’s America, motherf—ers!” while waving around a bloody stump.)

Additional thoughts:

* I love that we got to see who everybody voted for — and I especially love that Meadow voted for Oprah.

* If Winter and Ivy met the day before the election, why didn’t Ivy recognize her when she applied for the nanny position?

Your thoughts on this week’s CultDrop ’em in a comment below.

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