A fitness superstar, a hair-care salesman and a clothing designer walk into the Big Brother house… and 90-something days later, they’re still in the Big Brother house.
It’s been a long summer for Christmas Abbott, Josh Martinez and Paul Abrahamian, but it finally came to an end during the reality series’ two-hour finale on Wednesday. But who walked out of those Hollywood soundstage doors with an extra $500,000?
Here’s how the Season 19 conclusion played out:
* Paul, Christmas and Josh went head-to-head-to-head in the final, three-part Head of Household competition. Paul triumphed in Part 1, a battle of endurance involving — what else? — farting unicorns; Josh emerged victorious from Part 2, in which he and Christmas used a massive slingshot to knock down cutouts of their evicted housemates; and in the live third portion, Josh beat Paul 4-2 as they tried to predict their housemates’ answers to fill-in-the-blank questions. Only on this show could someone cry tears of joy while standing on giant scales of justice. Never change, Big Brother.
* Season 2 champ Will Kirby sat down with the eight existing jury members for a conversation about who deserved to win — and the only thing they could actually agree on was that they hated the three remaining houseguests. (Alex, for example, announced that “if I could break [Christmas’] other leg, I would!”)
* Tearfully confessing that he thought he could win against Paul, Josh used his fleeting HOH power to evict Christmas, making her the ninth and final member of the jury.
* Once Christmas had joined her fellow jurors, they each got to interrogate Josh and Paul about why each of them deserved the half-million-dollar prize. It didn’t seem that either finalist’s answers really impressed the jury, at least judging by Elena’s fantastic “What the heck is happening here?” expression throughout the Q&A. (Paul, to his credit, gave one heckuva closing statement, while poor Josh blanked out halfway through his final plea to the jury.)
* Other highlights of the post-voting festivities: A terrific supercut of each houseguest waxing poetic about Paul in the Diary Room, followed by a montage of Josh’s farewell messages to the evictees, in which he revealed his Final Three alliance with Paul and Christmas every single time. (“You suck,” a flabbergasted Paul told his fellow finalist.)
* At last, it was time for Julie Chen to reveal whose names were on those all-important keys: By a vote of 5-4, the winner of Season 19 is… Josh! (Cody cast the tie-breaking vote for Josh, a fact that seemed to ruin Paul.)
* But Josh and Paul weren’t the only ones to leave the finale with some extra dough. Cody was voted America’s Favorite Houseguest and pocketed $25,000, which means Jessica definitely isn’t breaking up with him just yet.
Your turn, Big Brother fans! Did Josh deserve to win? Were you shocked by the results? Hit the comments section with all of your thoughts on Season 19.