If you didn’t think that Ally “accidentally” shooting Pedro would instantly turn her into a media figure and social pariah, you obviously haven’t been watching the news lately. Or at any point in the last five years.
Though Ally isn’t charged for killing him on Tuesday’s American Horror Story: Cult — Detective Jawline is very clear about Michigan’s “stand your ground” policy — she’s persecuted by the community. Some go so far as to call her the “lesbian George Zimmerman.”
Even Harrison and Meadow get in on the backlash, arriving at Ally’s doorstep in matching sombreros. “I’m 23 percent Mexican,” Harrison says. “Does that make you want to kill me?” He then throws a handful of Taco Bell coupons at her, which I find offensive. (Come on, they’re perfectly good coupons!) The Wiltons also create a fake Craigslist ad, which results in a gross naked guy showing up at Ally and Ivy’s house to hook up with the “hot n bothered lezzies.” (Naturally, Winter lets him in the house without asking a single damn question. Nanny of the year, that one.)
Then comes what future AHS fans will refer back to as “the guinea pig incident of 2017.” Meadow gifts one to Ozzy — he names it Mr. Guinea, despite his mothers’ objection to “cis-normative pet names” — only for it to end up exploding in the microwave. Who put it there, you ask? Ally’s pretty confident that it’s the Wiltons’ doing, so she storms across the street like a damn lunatic and punches Harrison in the face. (You know, for someone who just avoided murder charges because of a “stand your ground” law, you’d think Ally would be more careful about attacking her neighbor in his own home.)
In other Wilton-related news, both halves of that totally functional marriage play the pinky game with Kai this week. Meadow says she’s afraid that Harrison is going to leave her for Detective Jawline (after sharing her general concern for Real Housewives of New York City star Sonja Morgan’s sobriety), while Harrison confesses something far more sinister: He regrets marrying his beard, and he acknowledges that life would be easier if she wasn’t around. So it’s probably not a coincidence that the episode ends with Harrison outside, screaming about Meadow being dead… right?
Oh, and remember how Winter totally fingered Ally in the bathtub last week? That comes back up at the end of the episode when the footage begins to play on Ozzy’s computer (which is messed up for so many reasons). Ivy is understandably pissed, grabbing Ozzy and leaving her crazy cheating wife at home to stew in her own infidelity.
* Is it safe to assume that Dr. Vincent — who, in addition to having a collection of smiley face buttons, also had a coffin-fearing patient get buried alive in the episode’s opening minutes — is one of the brains behind this season’s titular cult? Or is that too obvious?
* As if Ally’s growing list of paranoia triggers wasn’t long enough, someone (in yet another creepy mask) is spraying a mysterious green substance around the neighborhood at night.
Your thoughts on this week’s, ahem, explosive episode of AHS: Cult? Drop ’em in a comment below.