It’s been a hell of a summer for the beautiful, brainless castaways of ABC’s Bachelor in Paradise, and Monday’s grand finale — a true feels-fest if ever there was one — saved some of the biggest surprises for last.
The evening began with host Chris Harrison addressing the remaining couples, first reflecting on the “great summer” they’ve all had — you know, assuming you can overlook that whole sexual misconduct scandal — then reminding them that their stay in Paradise was about to end. It was time to make some decisions about their romantic futures.
Let’s start with the “winners”: Three couples — Derek and Taylor, Daniel and Lacey, and Adam and Raven — ended their last night on the island with a trip to the Fantasy Suite™. Sorry, that was poorly worded. Each couple went to the Fantasy Suite™ separately. (Can you imagine?)
Now, for the “losers”:
* Sure, I felt bad for Danielle (I guess?) when Dean informed her that he wanted to leave as friends in order to pursue a relationship with Kristina — but the fact that he actually said “Sorry for being an idiot” has to count for something, right? I mean, how often does a guy actually say that? Points!
* Dominique had all of her fingers and toes crossed, hoping that Diggy would ask her to leave as a pair. Instead, he pooped directly on her party, telling her that he’d rather leave with Jaimi. But Dom got the last laugh when Jaimi gave Diggy a taste of his own medicine, assuring him that it’d be best for them to also leave as friends. #karma
* Robby was real confident that Amanda was going to agree to leave with him and immediately start bearing his “little Robbies.” But she’s been burned before, and in the end, she just wasn’t willing to go all in with him. It was an unfortunate turn of events, but at least it returned Robby to his natural state: confused. (Kind of a nice full-circle effect, no?)
Then came the finale’s second hour, which revealed that not all of this season’s “winners” stayed together after leaving the island. For example, Daniel turned out to be a huge liar who didn’t mean any of the things he said to Lacey in the Fantasy Suite™, including (she says) that he loved her.
Oh, and Derek asked Taylor to marry him. She said yes. (But we knew that already.)
Your thoughts on the fates of these Paradise pairs? Drop ’em in a comment below.