Miss USA 2017: And the Winner Is...

Miss USA Winner 2017

Fox on Sunday celebrated Mother’s Day with the mother of all beauty pageants, Miss USA.

More than four dozen high-strung hopefuls assembled at Las Vegas’ Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino to compete in a series of challenges that tested their intelligence, their poise and, of course, their bikini bodies.

(Side note: As if it that last category wasn’t antiquated enough, it was also the subject of some awkward banter between the hosts, when Julianne Hough reminded Terrence J. that it was a “swimsuit competition — there’s no swimming involved.” Because, you know, that would be crazy.)

I’m not going to lie — nor am I sure what I was expecting — but the entire two-hour ceremony was a snooze-fest. No one fell down, no one announced the wrong winner and, worst of all, Pitbull was given free reign to do whatever it is that he does. (Perform? Is that the word?)

Not even a Final Three question about feminism, which had all the makings of a classic cringeworthy pageant moment, proved uneventful — though I’d love for Miss District of Columbia to expand on her statement that “[women] are just as equal as men when it comes to opportunity in the workplace.” (Does she secretly live in some kind of wonderful alternate future? Share your secrets, girl!)

OK, no more beating around the bush. Your new Miss USA is… Kára McCullough, Miss District of Columbia! Watch her receive her crown below, then drop a comment with your thoughts: Did the right queen emerge victorious?

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