The opening scene of Pop TV’s Hollywood Darlings finds ’90s child stars Jodie Sweetin (Full House), Christine Lakin (Step by Step) and Beverly Mitchell (7th Heaven) engaging in the darkest game of F–K, Marry, Kill known to man.
The choices? Sweetin’s TV dad, Bob Saget; Lakin’s TV dad, Patrick Duffy; and
Mitchell’s TV dad Home Improvement star Tim Allen. (Goodness, what reason could they possibly have for excluding Stephen Collins from that game?)
In case you hadn’t figured it out at this point, Hollywood Darlings — a scripted “reality” show that exists in a world where every day is #ThrowbackThursday — loves itself some nostalgia. In Wednesday’s premiere episode alone, Mitchell and Lakin attend a spiritual cleansing ceremony performed by ’90s babe Andrew Keegan, while Sweetin fills in for her Fuller House co-star Andrea Barber at a child acting class.
And in typical ’90s sitcom fashion, everything spirals wackily out of control: Sweetin’s brief foray into teaching turns south when she starts lecturing the children about plastic surgery, while Lakin is forced into a situation that requires her to complain, “There are too many balls in my mouth.” (Mitchell wisely sleeps through that last part.)
At this point, you’ve probably decided whether or not this show is for you. But in case you’re still on the fence, here are a few of the Darlings‘ upcoming guest stars: Tamera Mowry (Sister, Sister), Jaleel White (Family Matters), Nicholle Thom (The Nanny) and Lori Beth Denberg (All That). Hell, even Duffy — yes, he of the aforementioned F–k, Marry, Kill game from hell — shows up along the way.
Your thoughts on Hollywood Darlings? Grade the premiere below, then drop a comment with your full review.