Vampire Diaries Recap: Miss Mystic Fail

The Vampire Diaries Recap

Sybil gained an unlikely hero-haired ally in her quest to expunge Elena from Damon’s memories on Friday’s Vampire Diaries, an episode that retreaded some very familiar — and profoundly uncomfortable — territory.

I’m talking, of course, about the Miss Mystic Falls pageant, believed by historians to have been the birthplace of the romantic force known as “Delena.” Stefan certainly remembered, taking every opportunity to remind his brother that he was Elena’s second choice, that she “never would have looked at [Damon] twice” if he’d been there that day. (Is it just me, or did Stefan sound surprisingly bitter when he told Sybil, “This pageant is the day Damon realized he could take Elena from me”? To quote the philosopher Princess Jasmine, Elena is “not a prize to be won!”)

To his credit, Damon did a pretty good job of shrugging off his brother’s revisionist storytelling. And as for Sybil’s control over him, Damon may not have his feelings back (yet!), but he still doesn’t appreciate being messed with — a fact he made crystal clear when he slammed Sybil’s face into a mirror during one of her little mind tricks. Unfortunately, Sybil loves returning favors, so the episode ended with Damon being crushed under the weight of his own humanity coming back. Womp.

Granted, Damon and Elena’s flicker of a relationship looks like a damn Disney movie compared to what Caroline and Stefan are currently going through. Between him throwing her into a table, then her literally killing him, I’m starting to wonder how these two will ever make it to the altar. Watching her give back his engagement ring certainly did nothing to ease my concerns.

Putting aside the obvious weirdness — like how creepy it was for Damon and Stefan to be lurking around a bunch of teenage girls — I really appreciated this episode’s efforts to honor the show’s legacy. The Elena flashbacks were used really effectively, I enjoyed watching Caroline mentoring the next generation of Vampire Barbies, the love triangle was surprisingly fun to revisit, and I’d never say no to one last choreographed dance at a big fancy mansion. (The fact that this one was set to a song from the musical Waitress nearly ended me.)

Elsewhere this week…

BONNIE BENNETT… BLOODSUCKER? | Fortunately, there is one couple still going strong on this show — stronger than ever, in fact. And I know you can’t see me right now, but trust me, I’m kicking myself for ever questioning Bonnie and Enzo’s relationship. Like Caroline, I was a little worried when Bonnie returned from Paris with a vial of her man’s blood around her neck, but it quickly (and thankfully) became clear that she hasn’t changed her stance on becoming a vampire. Instead, she wants Enzo to take the Cure so that he can live out the rest of a human existence with her, a twist I can totally get behind.

Sorry, I’m just really digging this couple all of a sudden. Their romantic one-liners (“I fell in love with a vampire that makes me feel alive,” and vice versa) felt so genuine, and I think we can all agree it’s nice to see Bonnie enjoying her life for the first time in… let’s see, when’s the last time she died? I was a big fan of Bonnie’s relationship with Jeremy back in the day, but seeing her with Enzo has made me realize how much more serious this one is.

MATT ON A MISSION | While Sybil hounded Damon for the siren bell’s striker, Matt and Dorian — you know, the only survivor from Alaric’s latest crop of Armory interns — spent the bulk of the hour tracking down the bell itself, which somehow resulted in them forming an uneasy alliance with Seline, who wants to “make good” by helping them kill Sybil. Look, I’m trying not to rush to judgment on this one, but given Seline’s history with Alaric’s employees (R.I.P., Georgie!), I hope Dorian is watching his back.

Your thoughts on this week’s nostalgia-heavy episode? Hopes for the remaining seven? Whatever’s on your mind, drop it in a comment below.

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