Scream Queens Recap: Quantic-oh No!

Scream Queens Recap

Emma Roberts’ character was feeling a little blue during this year’s Chanel-O-Ween festivities — but not for any of the reasons you might have expected.

It wasn’t because of Chad’s death. Or his entire family’s death. Or the fact that Chad left the Radwell fortune to Dean Munsch and the C.U.R.E. Institure. No, it was thanks to a shoddy prescription from Dr. Murder Hand that Chanel spent Tuesday’s Scream Queens in full-on Michael Ausiello-approved Smurf mode.

In other news, Hester was (finally) given a get-out-of-jail-free card this week — as well as a Jason mask and an axe, because why not? — in order to help Agent Hemphill catch the Green Meanie at a recreation of the hospital’s original Halloween murder party. But like most of Denise’s brilliant ideas, this one didn’t exactly go according to plan.

In fact, the hour ended with Denise dead on the hospital floor, following a fatal encounter with the G.M. And while I’m sad to see her go, at least we can all take comfort in knowing she’s boning Chad Radwell in heaven — presumably while role-playing as the guys from Brokeback Mountain. It was Chad’s favorite, after all.

Leftover Thoughts:

* Is it just me, or is Dean Munsch beginning every episode with a recap of the events thus far? (Quit trying to put me out of a job, lady!)

* Do you really think Chanel No. 2 is being motorboated by Genghis Khan in hell? I’d watch that spinoff in a second.

* Chanel showering her fans with gifts, Taylor Swift-style, might not have been as timely a reference as it was last year, but it was no less hysterical the second time around. (I’m still waiting for my “box of diseased whore hearts,” by the way.)

* Chanel No. 5’s confusion over Ivana vs. Ivanka Trump was a hilarious — and admittedly understandable — mistake. Heck, if Ivanka wasn’t Donald’s daughter, she would be his wife.

Your thoughts on this week’s episode? Denise’s death? The general mysteries of unknowable universe? Drop ’em in a comment below.

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