If you missed even a moment of Monday’s Dancing With the Stars, I have excellent news: ABC essentially replayed the entire thing on Tuesday night — and then added another full hour of footage.
It’s one thing for the competition series to stretch its performance shows to 120 minutes, when those are filled with actual content. But a two-hour results show, filled with video recaps and inane mini-concerts and endless footage of Bruno Tonioli shouting from behind the judges’ table — that’s just wrong.
To accommodate Monday’s presidential debate, the performance show was cut down to one busy hour, in which two pairs of dancers faced off in the same style, and the couple that scored higher would receive immunity for the week. Here’s a quick look at how the performers fared:
Babyface and pro Allison Holker vs. Jana Kramer and pro Gleb Savchenko (Style: Jive)
After showcasing his surprisingly suave side for the last two weeks, Babyface disappointed with a jive that was stiff and choppy. But Jana, still nursing a rib injury, seemed to coast through her performance with the help of cutesy facial expressions and gimmicky choreography. Winner: Jana and Gleb (26/40)
Rick Perry and pro Emma Slater vs. Vanilla Ice and pro Witney Carson (Style: Paso Doble)
Considering neither of the amateurs really knew what a paso doble was before hitting the dance floor, their routines weren’t terrible. But, as both gentlemen learned, you can’t replace Latin passion with angry stomping and overzealous hand gestures. Winner: Vanilla and Witney (in a tiebreaking decision from Len; both couples scored 23/40)
James Hinchcliffe and pro Sharna Burgess vs. Ryan Lochte and pro Cheryl Burke (Style: Cha-Cha)
Though Hinchcliffe needs to work on committing to the sexiness of a routine — instead of flashing the camera incredulous, “Look! I’m gyrating!” expressions — he was leaps and bounds better than Lochte, who lost his footing halfway through his cha-cha. (I can’t help wondering, though, if Burke’s choreography may be to blame for the swimmer’s poor showing. Yes, Lochte essentially just stood there while his partner danced circles around him… but weren’t those the moves he was given?) Winner: James and Sharna (29/40)
Terra Jolé and pro Sasha Farber vs. Calvin Johnson Jr. and pro Lindsay Arnold (Style: Viennese Waltz)
Putting the season’s tiniest and largest competitors against one another seemed a tad unfair… until both Jolé and Johnson gave their strongest performances thus far. Her frame was gorgeous, his elegance was a pleasant surprise — and Jolé’s emotional video package, in which she reflected on the lyrics of The Goo Goo Dolls’ “Iris,” was reason enough to pull out that “10” paddle. Winner: Calvin and Lindsay (32/40)
Amber Rose and pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy vs. Maureen McCormick and pro Artem Chigvintsev (Style: Salsa)
McCormick, unfortunately, may not have many weeks left in the competition, given that her salsa still featured sloppy footwork and an uncomfortable twirl in the final seconds of the number. But — as Len “Fuddy Duddy” Goodman could appreciate — her performance was full of classic Latin choreography, something that was lacking from Rose’s twerk-centric routine. Winner: Maureen and Artem (28/40)
Laurie Hernandez and pro Val Chmerkovskiy vs. Marilu Henner and pro Derek Hough (Style: Tango)
If anyone could compete with Laurie and Val in a face-off, it was Marilu, who has thus far risen to every challenge Hough has thrown at her. But she took the intensity of her tango just a step too far, and her nerves seemed to get in the way of what could have been a flawless performance. (Something that Hough was way too quick to remind her. Ease up, coach!) Winner: Laurie and Val (31/40)
And now, the results:
THREE COUPLES IN JEOPARDY
Amber Rose and pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Rick Perry and pro Emma Slater
Terra Jolé and pro Sasha Farber
Rick Perry and pro Emma Slater
Your turn! Did Rick and Emma deserve to be sent home? Hit the comments with all of your thoughts on Tuesday’s outcome.