If you’ve yet to gag on the eleganza of this week’s RuPaul’s Drag Race — and plan to stay off social media until you have — you might want to put off reading this recap. It reveals the winner and then some.
The really great thing about tuning in to this week’s eighth season finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race was that it almost didn’t matter who won. All three finalists — Bob The Drag Queen, Kim Chi and Naomi Smalls — were blessed with more than enough charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent to deserve the crown. But, in the end, when the sequins finally settled, the title of America’s next drag superstar went to… Bob.
Before she got to take her victory lap, though, Mama Ru struck a pose with her past winners (including, to Bianca Del Rio’s mock chagrin, the clown who’d stood in for her earlier this season), invited the audience to use any damn bathroom they pleased (except for hers — “You hear that, Jiggly?”) and revealed that Bob, Kim and Naomi would all be performing one last lip sync.
First up, Bob tore through a rendition of “I Don’t Like to Show Off” that was as tight as her Daisy Dukes. Then, during her Q&A segment, she was surprised by Ru with a video greeting from not only her mom but also the legend that she’d channeled during Snatch Game: Carol Channing, who sweetly thanked her for her “colorful impersonation.”
Next, clumsy Kim made the most of the safe but clever moves that were choreographed for her performance of “Fat, Fem and Asian.” (Nothing could help that lip sync, though.) Afterward, given a fan’s question — to which member of the Pit Crew would she like to lose her virginity? — she hilariously replied, “I’m not trying to catch anything, so I’m gonna say none of them.” #shade
Last but not least, Naomi kicked up her heels with an homage to her amazing gams, “Legs,” introduced her adorable mom in the audience and received a video shout-out from Game of Thrones‘ Lena Headey, who playfully told her to “Cersei that walk.”
Of course, we were still miles from the coronation — Ru had to interview all of the also-rans first. “My grandmother calls you Ron Paul,” admitted Laila McQueen, upon being reminded that she’d met Ru years earlier during the drag legend’s non-presidential campaign. Cynthia Lee Fontaine revealed that she was a liver cancer survivor. Acid Betty got props from the only person who’d been into her Snatch Game impression of Nancy Grace: Nancy Grace. Thorgy Thor, discussing her dream of founding a Thorchestra, demonstrated her skills with a violin. (Was that hair Play-Doh?!?)
Next, Season 7’s Miss Congeniality Katya — full of goofy good humor — came out to announce that this year’s MC winner was Cynthia. Then, at last, Ru announced that Violet Chachki’s successor was none other than Bob.
What do you think of Ru’s choice? Hit the comments!