Dear Carson “Babyface” Daly,
Now that your Great Annual Movember Beard Experiment is over, can we talk?
I get that The Voice‘s results telecast can be tricky. You’ve got to fill a full hour of airtime with an announcement/sing-off that needn’t last more than 10-15 minutes.
Still, there’s got to be a better strategy than asking freaked-out contestants the kinds of banal questions that would make a county dairy-queen contestant wince with incredulity. C’mon — ask these kids about the first record they ever bought or their willingness to switch up their musical styles or the types of albums they’d like to make in a post-Voice world!
Just nothing along the lines of “What does your hometown support mean?” or “What do your teammates mean to you?” ever again. K? K!
And hey, when you have freakin’ Sia in the house — and you’re coming in at under an hour — let her grab the mic for a second song. Or better still, invite back a show alumni with a killer new tune — hi, Sugar Joans! — who could probably use the national exposure.
OK, now that we’ve got that out of the way… shall we get to said results right quick?
Saved By America (in order of announcement)
Emily Ann Roberts (Team Blake)
Jordan Smith (Team Adam)
Jeffery Austin (Team Gwen)
Barrett Baber (Team Blake)
Madi Davis (Team Pharrell)
Amy Vachal (Team Adam)
Zach Seabaugh (Team Blake)
Shelby Brown (Team Adam)
Bottom 2 and Their “Save Me” Songs
Korin Bukowski (Team Gwen) — Colbie Caillat’s “Try” — Grade: D- | Ohhhhhhh nooooooooo… Korin forgot her lyrics. Not just a few of ’em, but like, 60 percent of ’em. “You don’t have to try, try, try, try, try, try” she muttered, like the world’s saddest malfunctioning robot. Even Korin’s greatest fans probably questioned whether the former med student wanted to be saved, or if rallying behind Braiden might be an act of mercy.
Braiden Sunshine (Team Gwen) — Maroon 5’s “Harder to Breathe” — Grade: F | Oh heavens, no! Braiden’s best performances — “True,” “Feeling Good” — have painted him as a Buble-esque crooner type. When he tackles aggressive rock jams, he’s as unbelievable as Kylie Jenner snagging the role of Lady Macbeth in a Royal Shakespeare Company production. Add gaspy breath control, dozens of flat notes and the ickiness of a 15-year-old delivering sexually charged lyrics, and… I repeat… oh heavens, no!
This was really a case of six backhands to the face or a half-dozen batons to the shin, but I took to Twitter and made my case anyhow:
Once again, my efforts proved totally in vain:
Saved by America
OK, your turn. What did you think of Top 10 results? Did America get it right with the Bottom 2? Was the right artist saved? And who are you most worried about for next week’s “5 go home” elimination? Sound off in the comments!