“She can’t die! Don’t let her die!” screams Frank Delfino, running alongside a gurney carrying a bleeding-out Annalise Keating, during this week’s “Shooting Night” flash-forward on How to Get Away With Murder. Turns out, though, that Frank’s just playing hysterical for the benefit of the facility’s security cameras. By the time he gets to his car, he looks as nonchalant as if he’s in the Keating kitchen busting Bonnie for her Great Doucheface Dalliance of 2015.
What’s remarkable about this mind-bending moment isn’t merely that it calls into question the bearded henchman’s loyalty to/affection for his bosslady, but that it also only ranks No. 11 in my countdown of HTGAWM WHOA-EMM-GEE Moments (TM pending) from the hour.
Shall we count down the other nine? Why yes, we shall! Or to put it in the words of Annalise Keating, “Right now, I have to go handle a bitch.” (Yeah, yeah, maybe that quote isn’t entirely applicable, but it should always be worked into your conversations/emails/memos/cover letters from this day forward. #Fact)
10. We learn that our murder suspects’ murdered aunt, Helena Hapstall, gave a child up for adoption, then set him up with enough money to ensure a lifetime of comfort. Annalise sees an opportunity, though, to provide the jury in Caleb and Catherine’s case a new suspect in their parents’ death — one who stood to inherit a windfall if the Hapstall sibs were in jail. “Juries love a secret baby,” says Annalise, and crass as it is, I pretty much take her legal talk more seriously than Bible verse.
9. Annalise clears a transgender woman (and fellow Middleton University professor) who’s being eyed as a suspect in her abusive husband. “I’m so glad he’s dead, Annalise,” sighs Jill, once she’s a free woman. The confession causes Annalise’s impenetrable outer coating to soften for just a moment, and she lobs back a truth bomb of her own: “I’m glad Sam’s dead, too.”
8. Frank has no chest hair!!! (But his face suggests hirsute-ness!) We learn this during his enthusiastic sex with Laurel, who’s been searching his pants and trying to guess the password on his iPhone in a Wes-fueled bout of paranoia. After Laurel and Wes finally confront Frank to his face — and he lies again that he has no knowledge of her whereabouts — Frank convinces Laurel the money in the storage locker was a bribe to keep Rebecca quiet about the Keating Four’s role in Sam’s murder. And then — !¡!¡ — he takes Laurel to meet his rowdy, hard-drinking family! I ought to be pessimistic about this couple’s future, but damn their smiles over dinner look awfully sincere, no?
7. Annalise goes to Wes’ apartment
to seduce him to confess she knows his mom committed suicide and offer the theory that his childhood tragedy is the reason he doesn’t trust women. I’m half expecting/half wanting Annalise to tear off Wes’ legal briefs and assume the deposition (that euphemism doesn’t really work, does it?), but instead she promises him “no more secrets” while continuing to lie that she has no idea what happened to Rebecca. (Our protagonist is so cold she hasn’t even exited Wes’ apartment building before she calls Frank for a status update about the disposal and hiding of the murder suspect/drug dealer’s corpse.)
6. Speaking of which, with so much snooping around from the Keating Four/Five, Frank and his gravedigger buddy retrieve Rebecca’s body and bury it in a cemetery. (I know I shouldn’t be throwing out compliments for such sick, twisted business, but a graveyard really is an A+ place to dispose of a corpse, no?)
5. Nia Lahey is dead — and no amount of peach cobbler is going to get Annalise back in Nate’s good graces, seeing how her framing him for murder robbed him of being at Nia’s side during her final months. “I don’t hate you. I just don’t care about you,” he grumbles, though I’m not sure I buy it. What’s a much easier sell is Annalise’s insanely hot black trench coat/pearls combo during the scene, both of which underscore Viola Davis’ one-of-a-kind gorgeousness.
4. Annalise sells out Asher’s dad to Ambitious/Hot DA Guy in order to secure the freedom of her transgender colleague and Asher himself (still at risk for his involvement in Trotter Lake). While her ploy works brilliantly, it has the same kind of nasty side effects as any pharmaceutical ad. “May result in father-son estrangement, bad mojo and a karmic comeuppance.) When Judge Millstone learns every one of his cases — including the very bad David Allen verdict — is under investigation, he essentially disowns Asher, and exits with an ice-cold “Have a nice life”
3. That Bitch Prosecutor (born name Emily Sinclair), reeling from getting repeatedly outplayed by Annalise, sets up a meeting in a parking lot with Bonnie. “Girl to girl, I thought you should know the real about your boyfriend,” she says, dropping a bomb that Asher’s Trotter Lake secret involves the gang rape of Tiffany Howard. I want to believe Sweaters McDouchedance is somehow less than culpable, but even if his role was do-nothing bystander, this is going to be tough to forgive — for Bonnie and the audience.
2. OH DID I MENTION THERE IS A DUDE WHO’S SPYING ON OLIVER AND CONNOR???? (Sorry for the all-caps, but totes appropes, yes?) It turns out, in fact, that Oliver has hacked into the computer of Helena Hapstall’s possibly homicidal biological son, Philip Jessup. But unbeknownst to them, the dude (who fancies shirtless selfies) has flipped the hack around, and is viewing Connor and Oliver through some kind of crazy spycam. This does not bode well – unless it brings us some down-low Conniver hanky-panky footage. (Don’t judge me: Memories of Season 1 copier-room encounter still linger!)
1. Topping the Insanity Chart this week… somehow, on “Shooting Night,” Frank’s got an unconscious Catherine Hapstall in the backseat of his car, and then proceeds to deposit her blood-splattered body in the woods. She remains motionless as present-day Sam Keating, until the morning, when a police bloodhound gets all sniffity-sniff and Catherine lurches awake with a gasp. What in the actual what is going on here????
Any thoughts, HTGAWM fans? And what did you think of this week’s episode? Hit the comments with your thoughts!