Scream Queens Recap: Busy Bodies

While Saint Chanel Oberlin pulled a Taylor Swift on Tuesday’s Scream Queens, bestowing Chanel-o-ween gifts upon her adoring fans, the Fox comedy rewarded viewers with a few gifts of its own: actual answers!

Grace and Pete, dressed to perfection as Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, met with a Kappa from 1995 who revealed what really happened that night — or her version of what happened, at least. After Munsch (allegedly) helped the girls bury their dead friend, she put the fear of God in each of them, leading one girl to kill herself, another to become institutionalized and the others to change their names after moving away. Of course, it’s unlikely we’ll hear any more of the story from her; the Red Devil made sure of that.

Before her death, the Kappa also told the junior sleuths that the baby born in the bathtub was a girl, which lead Grace to jump about six episodes into the future, asking her dad if she was the baby and accusing him of being the campus killer. (I can’t say I blame her for jumping to those conclusions, considering we’ve had Wes on our list of suspects since Day 1.)

SHADY LADY | This week’s other big mystery revolved around a supposed ghost who began haunting the town after the death of the ’95 Kappa. But because there ain’t no such thing as ghosts, Grace and Pete connected the alleged phantom to a string of milk and diaper robberies, deducing that a real(ly crazy) woman took the Kappa baby and raised her in the shadows. And if the final shot of the episode is to be taken as gospel, that lady was none other than… Gigi!

YES, SHE CAN | For the record, Zayday would totally get my vote for President of Kappa Kappa Tau — assuming she turns up in time for the election, of course. After declaring her intention to snatch Chanel’s wig throne, Zayday found herself face-to-face with the Red Devil, who was kind of enough to settle for a kidnapping, rather than a full-blown murder. But the question is: Who organized the kidnapping? Was it Chanel, fearing for her future at KKT? Or was it Denise Hemphill, a former student who may or may not see Zayday as everything she never had the chance to become? I guess we’ll find out next week. (Or, you know, we won’t.)

GROSS COUPLE ALERT! | Given their shared love of the dead, I’m not surprised by Chad and Hester’s near-hookup this week, though I’ll admit I’m forever changed after hearing Lea Michele utter the phrase “attack my crack.” Fortunately, and I use that phrase very loosely, #Chester’s rotten rendezvous was cut short when the pair realized that the wax figure of Ms. Bean upon which they were planning to bang was… actually Ms. Bean! Yes, friends, the Red Devil placed all of his victims — including my sweet Coney — in Zayday’s haunted house, and considering this was only the first part of a three-week Halloween event, I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of them.

Scream-ers, what’s your take on this week’s episode? Do you think Wes is the killer? And what was up with that final shot of Gigi? Drop a comment with your thoughts below.