Wednesday’s South Park launched quite possibly the most insane political campaign in
The madness began at our nation’s capitol, where President Obama commended Kyle for the pro-tolerance speech he made in the wake of his submission to Caitlyn Jenner. Speaking of Jenner, the reality star finally made an appearance this week — albeit as a more demented version of her normal self — to thank Kyle for his speech, then proceed to mow down some innocent pedestrian with her convertible. (Yeah, South Park went there.)
Meanwhile, with the Colorado town still subject to the great and terrible reign of P.C. Principal — yes, we’re getting another continuitous season, bruh — Mr. Garrison finally reached his breaking point, eventually getting fired for referring to all the little Canadian kids in his class as a bunch of “canucks.” Rather than admit his wrongdoing, Mr. Garrison proposed that the United States build a wall to keep out all unwanted Canadians… but was miffed to learn the Canadians had beat him to the punch.
With his personal immigration policy firmly established — he intended to “f–k them all to death … until their spirits leave their bodies” — Mr. Garrison snuck past the Canadians’ wall, only to discover that their country had fallen into despair since the election of a Donald Trump look-alike. Mr. G’s next step? Why, barging into Faux-Trump’s office and quite literally boning him to death, of course! (Confession: When he busted out those poppers, this recapper may or may not have audibly gasped.)
After screwing “Trump” to death, Mr. Garrison returned to South Park, where he announced his candidacy for President, alongside his new running mate: Ms. Caitlyn Jenner who, once again, murdered a pedestrian on her way out of town. (“Buckle up, buckaroo!”)
Meanwhile, Cartman used the madness as an opportunity to persecute to Kyle for — you guessed it — “being a Jew” and smuggling Canadians into the country for the benefit of his adopted brother. In an attempt to quell race relations, Cartman ordered Butters to give a “hot Cosby” to one of the Canadian girls, a plan allegedly based on the plot of The Lion King 2. (I’ve seen the movie, and it’s not that far off, to be honest.) But little did Cartman know that Butters would end up falling in love — or, as they say in Canada, falling in “slow Cosby” — with Charlotte. I never thought I’d say this about South Park, but I think I might be ‘shipping those two.
Your thoughts on the second episode of South Park‘s — in my opinion, on fire — new season? Drop ’em in a comment below.