Step aside, Kate Middleton, there’s a new royal in town — and this one can saaaaang.
After kicking off the 95th annual Miss America competition on Sunday with a performance from Vanessa Williams — followed by an unspeakably awkward apology for maybe-maybe-not pressuring her to resign in 1984 after those butt-sniffing photos leaked — the initial crop of contestants was quickly whittled down to the final 15. (But don’t worry, the 35 dismissed ladies got an excellent consolation prize: “the best seats in the house to cheer on your friends!” Yeah, OK.)
Then came the swimsuit competition — which, believe it or not, is still a thing in 2015 — followed by the “talent” portion of the evening: There was a performance of “Climb Every Mountain,” allegedly a tribute to Julie Andrews, despite the fact that Maria doesn’t sing that song in The Sound of Music; a monologue about Alzheimer’s and night terrors; and an interpretive dance to The Matrix‘s “Clubbed to Death” sequence, just to name a few stand-out routines.
The question-and-answer portion was also full of surprises:
* Miss Colorado thinks Ellen DeGeneres should be on the $10 bill.
* Miss South Carolina doesn’t support the ban of military-grade assault rifles.
* Miss Tennessee remains in favor of federal funding for Planned Parenthood.
* Miss Alabama believes Republicans should be “terrified” of Donald Trump.
* Miss Georgia does (or doesn’t) believe Tom Brady cheated. I honestly couldn’t tell.
* Miss Mississippi says Kim Davis violated the law by not issuing same-sex marriage licenses.
* Lastly, Miss Louisiana did a pretty good job of dodging the question of whether she believes “Black Lives Matter” is a hate group.
And now, for the reason you’re all here: the
butt-sniffing photos winner! unlike the real Hunger Games, only one contestant emerged victorious Sunday night. And she is… Miss Georgia, Betty Cantrell! Just look at how excited she is:
Meanwhile, Miss Mississippi (Hannah Roberts) will be standing by as runner-up in case Cantrell is unable to fulfill her duties. Or, you know, if she happens to suffer an unexpected “accident.”
Americans, do you believe the right woman was crowned? Drop a comment with your thoughts on this year’s winner, as well as the entire ceremony, below.