NFL Kickoff Drinking Game: Get Tanked on Deflategate, Zachary Levi Cameos, NPH Promos and More

The only thing bigger than the hype surrounding Thursday’s NFL Kickoff game on NBC (7:30/6:30c) are the profit margins at your local liquor store. Yes, the special sauce will be flowing tonight as America crowds around their TVs to watch defending Super Bowl champions New England Patriots (led by embattled Deflategate star Tom Brady) take on the Pittsburgh Steelers (led by Ben Roethisnameisimpossibletospellberger).

With that in mind, I peered into my fully inflated crystal balls and created the ultimate TVLine flavored, NFL season opening-themed drinking game. If you’re not (responsibly and age appropriately) smashed by the end of the first quarter I’ll be as embarrassed as Bill Belichick’s stylist.

ONE SHOT every time…

♦ The word “Deflategate” is dropped.

♦ There’s a close-up of Tom Brady’s balls. (His footballs, you perv!)

♦ It’s noted that Roger Goodell is not in attendance — his first season-opening no-show since he was named NFL commissioner.

♦ Sunday Night Football’s 10-year anniversary is brought up.

TWO SHOTS every time…

♦ Bill Belichick’s wardrobe is discussed.

♦ There’s a commercial for upcoming Universal releases The Visit, Everest or Steve Jobs.

♦ Someone makes a bad casino pun while whoring out NBC’s new Thursday drama The Player.

THREE SHOTS every time…

♦ The camera cuts to a star of a new or returning NBC show in attendance. Take two shots if it’s Heroes Reborn‘s Zachary Levi. Take a third if he’s on the sideline.

♦ A football-themed spot for Neil Patrick Harris’ Best Week Ever airs.

♦ You hear the word “Bündchen.” Or you see a Bündchen.

FINISH WHATEVER IS COLD IN THE ICE BOX if…

♦ NBC announces a Sunday Night Football/Chicago Fire/Chicago P.D./Law & Order: SVU/Chicago Med 5-way crossover sweeps event.

♦ Grimm is even mentioned once.