A Deadly Adoption on Lifetime: 8 Must-Discuss Moments from Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell's Insane Thriller

Before I begin, let’s get one thing straight: A Deadly Adoption, Lifetime’s Will FerrellKristen Wiig thriller about a surrogacy gone horribly wrong, is a damn masterpiece.

In spite of its cast, the movie isn’t necessarily as funny as some might expect it to be. Sure, Will and Ferrell’s dead-pan performances yield a generous serving of laugh-out-loud moments, but only in the same way that all Lifetime movies are unintentionally hysterical — unless I’m the only one who still remembers Liz & Dick around here.

The film, which premiered Saturday, stars Ferrell as Robert Benson, an alcoholic finance guru/author still reeling from the self-imposed guilt of the accident that caused his wife Sarah (Wiig) to lose their unborn child. (Damn it, Robert, you knew that dock was rotten!)

Enter Bridget (90210‘s Jessica Lowndes), a sexy, pregnant, homeless Robert Benson superfan who’s just dying to hand her unborn child over to the needy family… only her name isn’t actually Bridget… and she isn’t actually pregnant!

After Robert reveals to Sarah that he and Bridget slept together during one of his book tours, Bridget — whose real name is actually Joni — kidnaps their daughter, kills Sarah’s business partner and eventually meets her own demise after a fiery showdown with the Bensons. But, hey, we’ve all had crazy weeks, right?

Jessica Lowndes as "Bridget"Because A Deadly Adoption, like most of Lifetime’s cinematic works, is meant to be a shared experience, I’ve provided a few talking points for the group below:

1. Have you ever heard the word “diabetes” more in your life than you did during this movie? Even Wilford Brimley was like, “Guys, enough.” (And, yes, he was totally watching.)

2. Does everyone in the movie secretly hate Sarah? First Robert jokes about pushing her off the dock, then Charlie says he’d kill her if he didn’t love her so much. There’s also Robert’s little quip about Sully during breakfast: “She’s bossier than her mother.”

3. Do we think this movie has the potential to spark a pregnancy fetish craze, like what Fifty Shades of Grey did for BDSM?

4. During which scene do you think Ferrell and Wiig had the hardest time not laughing? My money’s on the first dinner scene when Bridget relays the story about how her ex-boyfriend used to make her show off on his boat in her bikini.

5. How early into the movie did you figure out Bridget was lying about her pregnancy? (It took the viewers at Chez Swift no less than two scenes.) Also, when Sully discovers Bridget’s fake belly, why doesn’t Bridget just tell her it’s a protective pad for the baby? Not even she would believe that “some women have small bellies.”

6. Is every crazy Lifetime movie character required to say “Don’t call me crazy!” at least once?

7. Is Dwayne attractive? Is he supposed to be? (Charlie seems indifferent while describing him to the police.)

8. The scariest part of this whole movie is that last scene where Robert dances in the kitchen, right?

But enough from me — grade the move below, then drop your review in a comment.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

  1. knd24 says:

    “I found an unopened box of chocolate today you know the dangers of diabetic ketoacidosis!”
    My brother has had diabetes for over 20 years and we’ve as a family have never said diabetes that many times. This was classic lifetime. Loved every second.

    • Bob Backus says:

      Really? You must really want to like it, or the actors. I’m ambivalent to either of them, neither are at all funny usually, so neutral here. Have a kid 20 years diabetic, and that line wasn’t insulting because of the ignorance, nor funny, but just simply dull. Pretty boring.

  2. alistaircrane says:

    The whole thing was superb. Thank you, Lifetime!!!!

  3. Marianne says:

    The way they spoke of the diabetes, I really thought Bridget/Joni was going to kidnap Sully to kill her with sugar. Hey, it could happen. It’s Lifetime.

    And I just love how Sarah was unconscious in the garage with assumed carbon monoxide poisoning because that was not a couple of minutes. And then she magically did not have to go to the hospital and was able to shoot Bridget/Joni and rescue her husband and daughter. That was so realistic.

  4. Luke says:

    I was a bit disappointed/surprised that Ferrell and Wiig played it so straight. I thought they would be making fun of Lifetime movies instead of making such a by-the-numbers film. It was even quite a bit less crazy than most other movies I’ve seen on this channel. I kept waiting for something really crazy or funny to happen.

    • Ann says:

      I think the fact that they played it straight was a brilliant piece of directing. Everyone was expecting them to ham it up for a Lifetime movie, but this movie was brilliant in that they did play everything so straight and so clichéd. I think the viewers who hated this movie and thought it was the worst movie ever made didn’t understand the brilliance of this satire.

      • Marci says:

        I agree, Ann. Their playing it straight just made it funnier to me. It got so over the top at the end, I almost started laughing out loud. It was a great parody.

        • Bob Backus says:

          Really? Playing it straight really was probably an excuse in case it was real crap like it was, and then they can say it’s ironic! It was as funny as watching grass grow. Snore.

          • Ann says:

            It was all intentional. If you look at the person who wrote and directed this, it’s the same team who wrote and directed another parody, “The Spoils of Babylon” in which both Kristin Wiig and Will Ferrell both starred in. In another article, the writers theorizes that Ferrell and Wiig are trying to parody all the genres. “Spoils of Babylon” was a parody of those bad 70s miniseries…then there was also a sequel to “Spoils” which parodied bad made for tv movie sequels. I think you if look at all the works as a whole, you’ll see the running gag that’s going on. It’s funny and I love it. I can’t wait to see the next genre they tackle!

  5. This sounds like Lifetime’s got their answer to Sharknado here.

  6. Kristen says:

    Loved it!!! I made my husband watch with me. We hoped at the end that the boat would hit a ramp and fly onto the bridge blocking the road, but the over dramatic shoot out and monologuing was good too. Poor Charlie though, he didn’t even get a dramatic last line.

  7. Dot Dot says:

    Ummmm….yeah. Ummm….no. Really? This movie has me lost for words. I lol’ed when Will was holding Kristen in his arms and the garage door was slowly opening, and the music was so corny….don’t get started on the ending. Wtf with the hair, Will Ferrell?

  8. alistaircrane says:

    My favourite moment was probably the close-up of Robert’s wedding ring when he was racing in the speedboat to save his family.

  9. Travis B. says:

    Two very enthusiastic thumbs up! Fine Holiday fun!

  10. Nell on Wheels says:

    Sure, Will Wiig and Ferrell’s dead-pan deadpan performances yield a generous serving of laugh-out-loud moments,

    There, fixed that for you.

  11. i liked it. however my cable’s tv guide listed it as a comedy. so I wonder how many ppl thought it was going to b funny. it didn’t come off as a comedy in the previews. I know those 2 r known for comedy but it was nice to see them together in a drama. good acting but some of the lines could have been written better.

  12. Bob Backus says:

    Sounds stupid, like just putting 2 “comedians” in a seriously stupid Lifetime serious movie and adding nothing funny. I get the humor of it, but doesn’t sound worth wasting 2 hours, guess I need to catch the re-run.

  13. crystal says:

    I LOVED THIS MOVIE!!!!!! Ferrell’s beard, his hair, his “dramatic” acting. all amazing. me and my boyfriend have been waiting for this to air, since they let the cat out of the bag 2 weeks ago. awesome. we actually missed the beginning but rewatched it when it aired again. when ferrell finds the chocolate box in the pantry, haha, i thought the movie was going to be straight forward funny, but the ironic funny was great.

  14. HAP says:

    I figured something was wrong the first time Bridget/ Joni said she was 6 months pregnant. That prosthesis made her look like labor was imminent.

  15. James M. McLarey says:

    It was so bad that it was perfect! The truck is speeding toward Robert…first shot shows the truck about 60 yards away…Robert clearly looking right at it….he KNOWS it’s coming at him. He could have WALKED out of danger…waits until the last possible moment and then has to dive out of the way….give me a break.

  16. De says:

    Deadly adoption was horrible acting ..how everyone that was shot besides the friend of sully mom was okay up and moving didn’t appear to be hurt at all. Smh didn’t understand that

  17. misterandybones says:

    I was mostly disturbed by how much more attracted I was to Bridget/ Joni once she turned evil with a psycho stripe in her hair & suddenly grew eyeliner. This personal affliction has caused me unspeakable suffering. Kickass beard Will Ferrell. Wait… did I just watch a Lifetime movie?? So much suffering.


  18. Paul says:

    I found myself saying “Please, somebody KILL that woman already!!

  19. JEF says:

    If this was supposed to be a spoof of this overused C movie theme, they didn’t play it right. I thought it was awful!

  20. Danny says:

    Anyone know what the wedding song is called???

  21. Danny says:

    Anyone know what the ending* song is called???

  22. Norma Desmond says:

    I thought it was hysterical. The “hero comes to the rescue” music when Robert is on the boat ride to save little Sullly, I almost fell off the chair laughing. Great satire.