Quotes Of The Week For July 27, 2104

DEFIANCE

"But Mars is a dead planet; so is Venus. Your men and women could not possibly have come from there. You know that."

Stahma (Jaime Murray), struggling with Amanda's "Old World" saying

DEFIANCE (Bonus Quote!)

"‎"Why don't you get me a drink, and explain to me what a 'Barbie doll' is and whether or not I ought to punch you for calling me one."

Berlin (Anna Hopkins), struggling with Nolan's "Old World" nickname for her

RIZZOLI & ISLES

"You are so, so not to scale — look at those things on your chest!"

"Those 'things' are perfect, in form and in balance."

Jane (Angie Harmon) and Maura (Sasha Alexander), sizing up Susi's scale model of the lab

TEEN WOLF

"Stilinski, if I could grade you on how profoundly you disturb me, you'd be an A+ student."

Coach Finstock (Orny Adams), discovering Stiles (Dylan O'Brien) studying crime scene photos during class

MISTRESSES

"‎Her baby's ugly, honey, and somebody's got to tell her or else it's gonna get crucified on its first day of school."

Joss (Jes Macallan), shooting down the Wunderbar menu and Scott's argument that it's her "baby"

THE LEFTOVERS

"Is there a good answer to that question?"

"I think I just heard it."

Nora (Carrie Coon), being charmed by Garvey (Justin Theroux) after asking why he cheated on his wife

THE LEFTOVERS (Bonus Quote!)

"For [bleep's] sake, Kevin, it's not the actual Baby Jesus!"

Mayor Lucy (Amanda Warren), after Garvey balks at the idea of replacing the doll stolen from Mapleton's Nativity scene with a look-alike

BAD TEACHER

"Everyone at the country club has been referring to me as 'You Know Who.' The last 'You Know Who' was a dentist who knocked out his patients and used their hands to fondle himself."

Meredith (Ari Graynor), explaining how far her social status has plummeted since her divorce from her wealthy husband

CHASING LIFE

 "Have you heard of 'Deft Punk?'"

"Daft Punk?"

"That makes even less sense."

Lawrence (Vondie Curtis-Hall), explaining his new assignment to Dominic (Richard Brancatisano)

MASTERS OF SEX

"Mrs. Masters."

"Dear God."

"Actually, I'm Mrs. Moretti. Mrs. Masters is some other lady that drew the short straw."

Betty (Annaleigh Ashford), setting straight new secretary Barbara (Betsy Brandt) after she mistakenly assumes the ex-hooker is married to Bill (Michael Sheen)

FINDING CARTER

"I'm not too fond of crowds myself. I feel like if you pick right, you know, one's enough."

"You're surprisingly quotable."

"I read a lot of t-shirts."

Max (Alex Saxon), accepting a compliment from Taylor (Anna Jacoby-Heron)  about his life philosophies

COVERT AFFAIRS

"Natasha... You look great."

Auggie (Christopher Gorham), finding himself almost at a loss for words upon "seeing" his ex again

HOT IN CLEVELAND

"It was easy to pretend because I've always been interested in fashion and theatre. You know I know how to dress, how to pick out a good bottle of wine – what can I say? I'm Frasier straight."

"Maybe more like Niles straight."

 Tony (Chris Colfer), revealing to Melanie (Valerie Bertinelli) and Elka (Betty White) that he's not gay — despite the fact that his mother, Victoria, thinks he is

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

 
"If they ask who signed the Emancipation Proclamation, I'll say Daniel Day-Lewis."

Caleb (Tyler Blackburn), letting Hanna know he's going to wing his high school exit exams

UNDER THE DOME

"How am I supposed to compete with a girl who thinks she's from a galaxy far, far away?"

Norrie (Mackenzie Lintz), venting to Barbie about Joe's new gal pal, the enigmatic Melanie

MYSTERY GIRLS

"What sport did you play?"

"Varsity figure skating, trapeze and rhythmic dance. I was a triple threat!"

"What high school did you go to? The one on Glee?"  
 Nick (Miguel Pinzon), taking offense when Charlie (Jeanie Garth) says jocks are stupid (because he was one)

THE BRIDGE

"That wasn't as good as the first time. For me, I mean....  Don't worry, it will be better next time."

Sonya (Diane Kruger), giving her new lover Jack an anti-climactic review

THE FOSTERS

"It's not too good for.... intimacy — because of the split between the beds."

"That's no issue. Oh at my age, the less intimacy the better."

Steph (Teri Polo), explaining why she and Lena are selling their bed