Are You Wedded to FX's Married?

The honeymoon’s over — and it has been for a while on FX’s newest comedy, Married.

So when Lina (Judy Greer, Arrested Development) tells her husband Russ (Nat Faxon, Ben & Kate) he can “be with someone else” — albeit discreetly — he decides to take her up on it. 

Unfortunately, that isn’t the worst of Russ’ problems (according to his friends, it’s not even a real problem) in the show’s premiere, which aired Thursday at 10/9c.

We want to know what you thought of the episode, but first, a recap.

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STRANGER BEDFELLOWS | When Russ’ many attempts to engage Lina sexually prove unsuccessful, he turns to his friend Bernie (The Daily Show‘s John Hodgeman), who tells him to “find out what she’s into” and “pretend to like it.” So Russ takes a page out of Lina’s books, dressing up like one of the vampires she’s always reading about — fangs and cape included. Sadly, his wife’s literary tastes skew more True Blood and less Dracula, causing her to laugh at his terrible accent and shirtless attempt at role-playing. The next day, Lina apologizes, citing her full-time job as a mom to their three daughters as the reason behind her lack of sex drive. That’s when she tells him he can have his needs met elsewhere.

DOGGED DEVOTION | Giving into peer pressure Empowered by his friends’ encouragement to”get a mistress,” Russ goes to get his ear hair waxed, becomes quite taken with his wax technician, and buys her ice cream, then a puppy — which she names “Charlie”… after the child she miscarried. (There is no appropriate response to this.) But just as things are heating up at her place, Lina calls, telling Russ to come home immediately. As he leaves, Russ’ new “mistress” gives him her underwear and asks him to buy dog food.

SLEEPING WITH THE FISHES | Russ returns home to find that his daughter’s fish, Norman, is dead and that they’re having a funeral. As he and Lina smile at each other over the girl’s adorable eulogy, they have an almost affectionate exchange (“You make cute kids.” “So do you.”), which makes Russ realize he loves her too much to stray. Too bad he can’t stop himself from actually buying the dog food and driving it over to his mistress’ place.

WHO LET THE DOG OUT? | After an exchange with the mistress’ muscled ex, Russ returns home with the pooch. Just as he and Lina are about to watch a movie, his daughter excitedly reveals the puppy (I’m not sure what’s worse: Russ’ leaving the puppy in the car, or his daughter’s randomly searching his car… at night.) He offers to take the puppy back, but Lina refuses. Later that night, Russ gets a flurry of provocative texts from his sort-of tryst. The next morning, he shows up at the hospital, lies about the dog’s demise, then returns home to attempt to seduce his wife.

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Married gets off to a rocky start, and Lina’s limited presence in the first episode doesn’t help. But while Russ and Lina seem to be a couple disconnected on every level, Greer and Faxon are able to maintain an undercurrent of affection for each other. We’ll give this couple a second chance.

That’s what we think, but what’s your take? Grade Married via the poll below, then hit the comments to back up your choice.

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