The Voice Recap: It Wouldn't Be Nothin', Nothin' Without This Particular Woman (She's No Girl)

The Voice - Season 6Can a “one-in-a-trillion vocalist” actually be too good to succeed in modern music?

That was the question posed by guest mentor Chris Martin (and reiterated by coach Blake Shelton) during tonight’s second round of The Voice‘s “Battles (Part Deux).”

And that’s also the question we might be asking ourselves all season, thanks to the fact that Beastmaster (™ pending) Sisaundra Lewis advanced to the Live Playoffs with the kind of vocal that caused my wine glass to vibrate, my Gospel hand to involuntarily fling upward and my non-Gospel hand to cue up iTunes so I can go forth and purchase her rendition of “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” immédiatement.

RELATED | American Idol‘s Majesty Rose Talks Early Front-Runner Status, Frozen Fumble, Coldplay Covers

In other news:

* Mark Burnett & Co. continued their inexplicable quest to spoil every single Season 6 Steal prior to its preceding commercial break. (Fun fact: There will always be at least one Battle Rounds steal per episode, and the final Battle of the night will always result in a Steal.)

* I like Adam’s bowling shirt. I might even want Adam’s bowling shirt — even if my doughy frame will never fill out the sleeves the way People’s Sexiest Man Alive does.

* Shouldn’t a coach’s role extend to helping his or her contestants with their hairstyles? (Yes, my judgmental side just sufaced like a shark fin in the midst of a sea of chum. #StevieJoNo)

* Given that the last few episodes have had more filler than a Real Housewife‘s face, is there any excuse for any Battle to get the dreaded montage treatment? (The only correct answer, BTW, is “Hell no!” #SomeoneHatesKristenMerlin)

On that saucy note, let me jump to a ranking of each of tonight’s Battles from least- to most-promising winner:

3. Team Shakira: Deja Hall defeats Ddendyl on “Say Something” (wrong choice, Shaki!) | Yet another head-scratching decision from Shakira — and not just because wide-eyed Deja said she’d think about her love for her family to help her better connect with a song about an inevitable, painful breakup. (Uff da!) When Shaki told Ddendyl she had the most unique voice in the competition, I thought for a hot second that maybe the D.C. lounge singer would overcome her montaged Round 1 Battle and prevail. But Shakira, apparently determined to build a team that’ll be obliterated in the first few weeks of voting, chose the milquetoast teen who’s clearly not ready for primetime over the potent stylist with a cool tone and exquisite phrasing. #travesty

2. Team Usher: Stevie Jo defeats Morgan Wallen on “The Story of My Life” (Morgan stolen by Adam) | I’m not sure why the inconsistent Morgan scored a steal — yeah, he’s got a nifty gruff tone, but he hit too many bum notes, no? — but I’m glad Stevie is onto the Playoffs. Dude has a voice that cuts through the TV screen like a hot knift to I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. Here’s hoping, however, that before he gets to the public vote, that Usher advises him against whatever weird ponytail situation he had going on.

1. Team Blake: Sisaundra Lewis defeats Biff Gore on “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” | I just couldn’t take seriously all the talk about how this was a tough decision for Blake. Biff was fine, I guess, but his drunk-at-a-wedding dance moves and affected growl exposed him as a singing-competition contestant, not a legitimate musical artist. Sisaundra, meanwhile, hit every note with such passion and presence — and finished it off with such a flourish on her final “ma-ay-ay-ay-ay-nnn’s world” run — it was as if she’d dug down to the song’s infrastructure, reimagined it from the inside out and made me hear it for the very first time. Sensational!

Inexplicably Montaged
Team Shakira: Kristen Merlin defeats Emily B on “I Can Love You Better” | I’m sure Kristen is just thrilled that not just one but both of her battles have been dealt with in about 14 seconds of screen time.

OK, your turn…

What did you think of night two of the Battle Rounds (Pt 2)? Did anyone deserve to get the Save and didn’t? Who gave the best overall vocal of the night? Take our poll, then sound off in the comments!


GET MORE: Reality TV, Recaps, The Voice