American Idol Results Recap: Girls, Interrupted

_MB18201-2Wait a second: When exactly did Fox start airing episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race on Thursday nights?

OK, yeah, I know I just got done watching the American Idol Top 12 results telecast, but Harry Connick Jr. threw so much damn shade at “tastemaker”/”mentor” Randy Jackson, I momentarily mistook him for a giant oak, mmmkay?

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Seriously, though, as the newest member of Idol‘s judging panel was asked to defend his tough Wednesday-night critiques of Season 13’s Top 12 contestants, he made an important distinction: It’s not his job to be a mentor — although if he were, he’d be at the hotel every day ’til 5am helping these kids transform themselves into the superstars they’re supposed to be. If you read between the lines, you could hear the not-so-subtle question: “And what in the heck is Randy Jackson doing all day to lead the Idoloonie Nation to believe we could be on the precipice of one of Idol‘s worst seasons ever?”

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I dunno. When you think about the Dawg’s performance over the last 13 seasons, rehearsal feedback like “Go big or go home!” and “More! Sell it!” seems downright pointed and specific, no?

_MB17548Anyhow…let’s get back to the business at hand. We had Phillip Phillips doing a little dance and unveiling his rollicking new single “Raging Fire.” We had Randy introducing us to an Irish band whose angsty blandness had my hubby predicting they’d be a CW staple before the end of the TV season. And we had a second consecutive week featuring an all-female Bottom 3 — a trend that isn’t really all that troubling when you consider that none of the at-risk contestants this season could be accused of slaying it the night prior.

But let’s jump right to results, shall we?

Sent To Safety (in no particular order)
Ben Briley
Sam Woolf
Jessica Meuse
Dexter Roberts
Majesty Rose
Alex Preston
Caleb Johnson
C.J. Harris
Malaya Watson

Bottom 3 Vote-Getters
Emily Piriz
Jena Irene
M.K. Nobilette

Sent to Safety First
Jena Irene

Sent to Safety Second
M.K. Nobilette

Emily Piriz

Emily performed a rendition of Grace Potter’s “Stars” as her “Save Me” song, but unlike her Hollywood Week version, this one was not delivered at the piano — and underscored Emily’s problems with intonation when she’s not in full-on belting mode.

J.Lo tried her best to convince us she had a problem with the end result, but Harry made it clear: The “Save” was not in play, and Emily was out.

Next Week
The theme is “Soundtrack to our Lives,” with contestants covering hits from the movies. Thursday’s results show will feature performances by Harry Connick Jr. himself (with Randy Jackson on bass) and singer/songwriter Mali Music (even though it’s worth noting sensational Season 6 grad Melinda Doolittle has never been asked to return to the show that made her famous. Hrmmm).

A few other notes…

* The intro segment of the Top 12 contestants singing little bits of Phillip Phillips’ “Home” made me wonder if — somewhere behind the scenes — Idol’s powers that be are working on finding a song of similarly high quality for the Season 13 champ. And if that’s not the case, then WHY THE HELL NOT?

* I loved Jessica’s philosophical view of the judges’ brutal criticism of her “White Flag” cover: “The lightbulb wasn’t perfected in a day and Edison didn’t give up.”

* For those who didn’t like Harry’s subtle dig at Randy, remember the latter started it by suggesting the neophyte judge was being tough only because he had “a little indigestion.” Ugh.

* That said, when Harry says things like Season 13’s crop is the most talented since Season 1, it exposes that the New Orleans jazzman has zero grasp of Idol history. Sure, Kelly and Tamyra were great, but as a whole, the Season 1 finalists proved nowhere near the performance level of Seasons 8, 10, 7, 11, etc, etc, etc…

And with that, I turn it over to you…

What did you think of Season 13 Top 12 results night? Did the right contestant get the boot? If not, who should’ve been cut? And how did you feel seeing/hearing @Phillips back on the Idol stage? What about Kodaline? Sound off in the comments!

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