American Idol Top 13 Results Recap: Exit Wounds

american-idol-top-13-results-recap-candice-glover-kristen-mk-malayaWe interrupt this American Idol Top 13 results night recap to give a round of applause to the quiet hero of the Season 13 judges’ panel…

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Let’s hear it for Keith Urban! Yes, perhaps J.Lo’s aura sparkles a little brighter. And, sure, Harry Connick Jr. gets all the new-kid-on-the-block buzz. But Keith — who survived both The Great Mariah Windbaggery of 2013 (™) and The Wrath of Nicki’s Wigs with his humor in tact — continues to be a gust of fresh air (in a tight, faded t-shirt).

_MB14558Whether grooving and hooting during reigning champ Candice Glover’s killer vocal performance of “Cried” and “Same Kinda Man” — oh how I love that latter track! — or declaring that “My favorite Harry Connick Jr. song is ‘Jenny From the Block,'” Keith seems to take his job (but never himself) super seriously.

And even in a case where the “Judges’ Save” has clearly been left in a backstage storage locker (where it’s kept along with J.Lo’s heart at a chilly 22 degrees Fahrenheit), he’s still nice enough to play along and pretend he’s deliberating its usage.

In any event, shall we make like Ryan Seacrest — whose first pet was a goldfish named Sheila! — and get to the results?

Sent to Safety (in no Particular Order)
Ben Briley
Alex Preston
Jena Irene
Dexter Roberts
Majesty Rose
Sam Woolf
Emily Piriz
Jessica Meuse
Caleb Johnson
C.J. Harris

Bottom 3
Malaya Watson
M.K. Nobilette
Kristen O’Connor

Bringing Nothing to the Table (Again!)
Randy Jackson

Sent Back to the Lounge First

Sent Back to the Lounge Second

Singing for Her Life
Kristen O’Connor: Adele’s “Turning Tables” — I won’t pile on Kristen while she’s down, so let’s just say this particular vocal just moved into a nice little studio apartment on the corner of Adequate Avenue and Eh Street.

Kristen O’Connor

A few other random thoughts from the episode:

* Do I actually miss the Ford Music Videos? [As if I’d answer that question for the entire Internet to see!]

* That opening mashup of “Counting Stars” and “Radioactive” — very reminiscent of So You Think You Can Dance‘s epic “Puttin on the Ritz,” BTW — looked and sounded better than any  Idol group number (involving 10 or more singers) in my (middle-aged) memory. Also, when Majesty and Alex were side by side and all alone on the stage, I had a sudden “could this be the Final 2?” premonition. Anybody else think that?

* The “Judges’ Save” expires at Top 6 week this season.

* Next week’s theme is “Home.” Coincidentally, the Thursday telecast will feature Phillip Phillips debuting his new single!

* Which is most unbelievable?
A. That Ben Briley doesn’t know the meaning of kitschy
B. That J.Lo’s Idol contract allows a camera crew to enter her dressing room and grill her without any warning
C. That the judges weren’t unanimous about sending Kristen home
D. That Ryan has the time — let alone the inclination — to eat in a mall food court

* Also, it bears repeating: No matter how many copies of Music Speaks she ends up selling, Candice Glover is undoubtedly one of the greatest vocalists ever to come off this show. That mind-blowing string of notes at the end of “Same Kinda Man” made me hoot and holler just like Keith.

* Randy used the word “intonation” — so evidently, even he got Harry’s memo about “pitchy” not being in the dictionary. The question is, can he go the rest of the season without uttering the “p” word?

* I don’t think Jake Bugg would’ve made the Season 13 Top 30.

What did you think of Season 13 Top 13 results night? Did the right contestant get the boot? If not, who should’ve been cut? And how did you feel seeing/hearing Candice Glover back on the Idol stage? What about Jake Bugg? Sound off in the comments!