Suburgatory Season 3 Premiere Recap: Will You Be Moving Back to Chatswin?

Suburgatory Season 3 RecapThe ‘burbs are undergoing a little makeover.

ABC’s satirical comedy Suburgatory returned on Wednesday night with a few tweaks. As TVLine reported in May, Rex Lee (as guidance counselor Mr. Wolfe) and Alan Tudyk (as George’s pal Noah) are no longer series regulars. The show has a new opening credits sequence featuring paper doll versions of the characters. And Tessa’s living situation changes not once, but twice during the episode.

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After parting ways with George at the end of last season, Tessa starts off the half-hour living with her mom, Alex. But since Malin Ackerman is on Trophy Wife Alex is flighty, she takes off, leaving George to pick up the pieces.

“This is what she does. She leaves,” he tells Tessa. “Your mom, she fights to push her way in. But then when she gets there, she panics.”

It’s kind of heartbreaking, but Tessa is surprisingly OK and just feels grateful that her dad is there. Rather than staying in the suburbs, George suggests they leave Chatswin behind since it’s ended up costing them more than they could have ever imagined (and he’s not just talking about the pricey lifestyle of “country club memberships and leather wallpaper”).

Sheila Shay is dealing with her empty nest syndrome now that Ryan’s in college — “The nest isn’t technically empty,” Lisa points out — by focusing all her energy on catching George’s stray pet dog. No problem, they’ll just lay low, says George.

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“You’re not Christine Lahti, Judd Hirsch and River Phoenix, are you?” replies Lisa. Then after a moment of silence, “Well, are you?”

Another (hilarious) problem: Lisa can’t keep the dog’s whereabouts under wraps because she gives off a strange smell when she lies.

Tessa ends up making a deal with Sheila so they can keep the dog and rent their old house. With that, the Altmans start over together in the ‘burbs, vowing over a bonfire not to get caught up in all the Chatswin mania. (It should be noted that Tessa pulls Ryan’s jersey out of the fire at the last minute. Stick around for Episode 3 for more on that twosome.)

Dalia, meanwhile, is not handling mom Dallas’ break-up with George very well. The only thing that cheers her up are the family’s accountants. “Can I take these two old guys home with me? Do you guys know how to twerk?” she asks.

Now, we want to hear what you thought of the season premiere (and to wish you good luck mentally scrubbing the image of Lansky, Lansky and Schulman shaking their behinds). Did you miss Noah and Mr. Wolfe? Grade the episode via the poll below, and then hit the comments to back up your pick.

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