Revenge Recap: Fuggedaboutit!

Revenge Season 3 RecapIn this week’s Revenge, we learn that Emily’s shooting has left her with amnesia. (What, should that have been preceded by “spoiler alert”? C’mon. You never thought for a minute that there was even the remotest possibility that she was gonna die, and neither did anyone else. That said… ) In case your memory has been similarly erased by eggnog and/or champagne consumption over the holiday break, let me bring you up to speed on a bit of what happened before – and all that happens in – “Homecoming”…

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GUILTY PARTY | While blood-spattered bride Emily sets off the Bat Signal sewn onto her garter, alerting Aiden to her whereabouts, and collapses in a bloody heap on a convenient fishing boat, Victoria goes from “person of interest” to “prime suspect” – especially after Conrad gives Lydia an alibi. In fact, the reunited lovebirds of prey are so sure of their future that Lydia baits Victoria by not only daring to sit in her throne but adding a splash of color to it – by pouring a glass of wine on the seat! (Obviously, this can’t end well for Conrad’s mistress.)

HEAD CASE | Later, when Aiden sneaks into Emily’s hospital room, intent on moving her to a safe house, she freaks! Although she recognized him just fine on the fishing boat, now her memory is so gone that, in her eyes, he’s just a handsome stranger with a sexy accent who wants to whisk her away. (Actually, that being the case, why DOESN’T she go with him?) Anyway, not to worry: Having googled “amnesia,” Nolan suggests that the erstwhile Amanda’s condition is as much psychological as physical, and perhaps Jack could snap her out of it. “No way,” say both Aiden (who clearly doesn’t want the exes bonding anew) and Jack (who feels what? Too guilty about the deadline he gave Emily to try to help her?).

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THEM’S THE BREAKS | In spite of Nolan and Patrick’s promise not to let the women in their lives muck up their rekindled relationship, mucked up, it becomes. Actually, worse than mucked up. Patrick is so steamed after Nolan tries to use him to get past Victoria to see Emily in the hospital that he vows to assist Mommie Dearest in taking down everyone who’s hurt her – his on-again/off-again boyfriend included! (Oo, a side vendetta!) His first step: Help Victoria connect the dots between Emily and the infinity box hidden at Nolan’s.

SHARP TURN | On a break from trying to play the worried groom, Daniel confesses to Victoria that he shot Emily – and intends to turn himself in. In response, the queen bee uses this info to force Conrad to change his statement to the police so that Lydia looks like the shooter. (I knew this wouldn’t work out well for her!) Loathe as he is to lose his lover, Conrad lets her know what he’s about to do, and she gets the hell outta Dodge. (On the plus side, she gets to go on the lam in a limo.) To thank Dad, Daniel gives him attitude, so he tells Junior that the next time he attempts murder, he’d better pray to his father up in heaven, because “your earthly father is finished with you!”

SOLVED MYSTERIES | Hearing from Charlotte that Emily is claiming David Clarke is her father, Jack decides that, erm, he’d better pay her a visit after all. And hurrah – by giving her that trinket of Amanda’s that he carries around and kissing her on the forehead, he brings her memory rushing back. She even recalls that Daniel shot her! In other news, Sara is still alive (yawn), and it turns out that the suspicious doctor/nurse type hovering over Emily throughout the hour is a woman from Aiden’s past (Niko) – and, judging from the kiss she gives him, she’s not a woman who wants to ONLY be in his past.

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? As you know, I’m semi-obsessed with Lydia, so I’ll miss her terribly. Who else would have the gall to park her tush in Victoria’s seat of power? (Come back soon, and bring Mason Treadwell with you!) You had to be crushed by Nolan and Patrick’s breakup-of-the-week. But the idea of Victoria and her son pulling off takedowns is rather intriguing, no? Hit the comments!