Revenge Recap: Back to the Future

NICK WECHSLER, GABRIEL MANNMy fellow Revenge-ineers are well aware that (too?) often it’s people from Emily’s yesteryears who complicate the scheme queen’s plotting. So perhaps you’ll find it as welcome a change of pace as I do that, in this week’s episode, it isn’t someone from her history who appears poised to muck up her get-even-detta, it’s someone from Daniel’s. At any rate, a blast from her fiancee’s past is but one of the erstwhile Amanda’s problems in “Dissolution.”

TOUGH LOVE | The hour opens with Emily spying Patrick leaving Nolan’s (trashed) home. For a second, it appears that Cap’n Neckerchief is dead in the tub. (He isn’t, though. He’s just enjoying some post-nookie hydrotherapy. Speaking of nookie, did the guys have to break everything in sight during their hook-up? Haven’t seen that kind of demolition since Spike and Buffy got it on. But I digress… ) Emily immediately dims Nolan’s afterglow by telling him that he needs to dump Patrick, like, now. When he reluctantly tries to do exactly that, Patrick reminds him that they decided they weren’t going to get caught up in Emily and Victoria’s drama. “I want to be with you,” he declares. “Why do they get a vote?” So, for the moment, the fellas are still on. But the moment lasts approximately… a moment. In no time, a frustrated Nolan is blabbing to Jack that Emily is Amanda – shocking him not with that news but with the fact that he knew all along. “I thought we were bros,” Jack more or less says. But the pals’ tiff lasts about the length of a commercial break, then Jack is making Nolan see that Patrick – who we know has no qualms about attempting murder – could go after Charlotte to keep his homicidal secret. Finally, Nolan agrees to let Jack remove Patrick from the equation… which he does by informing Conrad of his would-be killer’s true identity. (More on that later… )

HOME SICK | After Emily announces at a Grayson breakfast that she and Daniel have decided on a cruise to Nantucket with the immediate family for their honeymoon – because what’s sexier than going sailing with your in-laws? – Conrad announces that he’s sold Grayson Manor. Victoria seethes for a spell but then, thinking cap on, puts the gallery in Patrick’s name so that, when she leaves her husband, he can’t claim any ownership of the joint. It’s all a moot point, though, because Emily wants them to stay together in that house until she can properly ruin them. (Couldn’t she ruin them pretty much anyplace? What am I missing?) So she has Aiden knock a hole in the wall of her own house and doctors some records in order to convince Conrad’s Realtor that he hasn’t disclosed the shoreline erosion that, once discovered by her buyer, would make her guilty of fraud. In other words, deal off. (Emily also shtups Aiden, which, it becomes more obvious every time he talks about their future, is less about blossoming romance for her than it is about maintaining control.) Finally, Victoria tells Conrad that she’s divorcing him. “With a worthless estate,” she notes, “there’s nothing to fight for.” Of course, that’s exactly when – per Emily’s plan – Aiden reveals a warehouse full of gold that Conrad’s supposedly been hoarding – the Graysons’ “missing” fortune. Natch, now Victoria will stay and fight for what’s rightfully hers. Or will she? Conrad has Patrick in his crosshairs, and everybody knows that he’s her favorite child. To protect him, she spirits him away before Conrad’s goons can get to him. “But I don’t wanna,” he more or less says. “Obey your mother,” she tearfully replies. So off he does.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY | When Daniel pops into a bakery to pick up Charlotte’s cake for the unveiling of the remodeled Stowaway, he’s shocked to come face to face with Sarah, the girlfriend whose spine was crushed in his college DUI. Time may have mended her back, but it clearly hasn’t healed all her wounds – she hates Daniel with a fiery passion. Turns out, Conrad and Victoria screwed her on the post-accident settlement. So, while Daniel thought Sarah was set for life, she was actually working 60 hours a week to keep up with her doctor bills. Yikes. Somehow, underneath all the yelling, Charlotte senses a lingering spark between the exes. So, employing the kind of logic only a Grayson would (or maybe Emily), she secretly gets Sarah fired, then hires her at the Stowaway. (Funny, I never imagined cupcakes being a big sell next to clam chowder and beer.) What’s more, it appears that Charlotte is right – there ARE still sparks. Even after Daniel ruined her life, Sarah confesses, when she first turned around and saw him, “my heart still skipped a beat.” Elsewhere, Emily interrupts Nolan and Jack’s boys night to tell them goodbye. After the wedding, she says, “I’ll be gone for good.” But first, she wants to loop them in on the game plan for “the day Victoria Grayson goes down for the murder of Emily Thorne.” Dun-dun-DUN.

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? I know you’ll be bummed that Nolan and Patrick have been split up. Any new theories as to who shoots Emily? Given how she’s (apparently) playing Aiden, my money is now squarely on him as the gunman. What do you think of this Sarah chick? Seems like it would make more sense for her to click with Jack, leaving Daniel to Margaux. Hit the comments.