Siberia Recap: Mush(Room) With a View

Siberia Recap Episode 2 SabinaA giant U-shaped paw print next to a bloody clearing in the woods. A severed finger. A bad mushroom trip resulting in vivid/awful hallucinations. A missing gun and/or bullets. All of these unsettling things cropped up during Episode 2 of Siberia — NBC’s new scripted series about a Survivor-esque competition going horribly wrong — and yet only one character went running for the next helicopter back to civilization and away from a $500,000 cash prize?

Hey, if 25 real-life women put up with a guy dating all of them simultaneously on a real-life reality series like The Bachelor, then Siberia’s freaky-deaky happenings don’t require too much suspension of disbelief. Yes? Yes.

Anyhow, with that backdrop in place, let’s cut to the four key plot developments in “A Question of Reality,” which followed our castaways in the Siberian wilderness after all of them (except George) chose to stay in the game despite the sudden (and still unexplained) death of friendly hippie dude Tommy.

“THE REVEALER” GIVETH… | So that big metal box opens twice this episode. First time around, it delivers a container of bullets and a map with the location to a gun (which only Sabina and Johnny know how to shoot). Neeko decides that as the unofficial leader, he’ll hold on to the ammo, but someone steals it from under his bed, and almost everyone assumes it’s Johnny, who they already suspect has found the rifle, too. (Daniella with the unspeakably long hair asks if he’s got it, but the cameras cut away before we get an answer/non-answer.)

Later, “The Revealer” coughs up a key (underneath a big, live snake — or as Sam sees it, a chicken-flavored dinner). Miljan leads the gang to the little locked cabin he found while exploring the woods with Irene, and sure enough, the key fits and the players discover a food pantry. But once the majority of contestants decide the food should be rationed — after all, they’re supposed to survive out there through the winter — Johnny gets indignant, screeches “You’re nobody’s dad!” at Neeko and demands the food be split up so that each player can ration for him- or herself. Sulky Loner Dude gets overruled, though, and Neeko winds up giving the pantry key to Sam for safeguarding, a move Johnny claims he’ll live to regret. Somebody’d better count all the apples!

FINGER-NICKIN’ GOOD | Johnny cuts off the tip of his finger, gets briefly light-headed, but refuses to cross the exit line and take the next chopper home. Heck, for $500,000, he can buy a new finger, he reasons. BUT CAN HE BUY A PERSONALITY? Oh snap!

ATTACK OF (ON?) THE CAVE WOMAN | Daniel (who clearly doesn’t value his life) goes off looking for the spot in the woods where Tommy died. “Something big ripped through here,” he notes as he spots a giant paw or hoof print, downed sapplings and enough blood splatter to keep Dexter busy for a week. On his way back to camp, he finds a cave and (again courting death) begins to enter when — BAM! — out pops Sabina. (This chick be freaky, yes?) She says there’s a steep dropoff within, and that Daniel shouldn’t enter. And anyway, night is coming and they need to get back — pronto! Daniel gets distracted along the way when he sees some cave paintings of stick figures hunting what looks like a Yeti, and then whaddaya know, in the pitch-black woods, something begins to rustle behind them, causing Sabina to raise her sharpened stick and protectively push Daniel behind her. Whatever it is doesn’t use them for a late-night snack, and they arrive safely back at camp — where the guys and Esther poke fun at Daniel’s creature-in-the-woods recollections. Show of hands: Who thinks Daniel’s gonna be laughing last here? Or maybe second to last, right before Yeti devours him and bursts out into a giggle fit?

‘YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE’ | Esther chooses to do nothing to stop Victoria when the latter woman picks up a bowl of uncooked mushrooms thinking they’ve been boiled — and are therefore safe to eat. That evening, Victoria’s eyes begin to dilate, she starts hallucinating, and Annie (correctly guessing it’s bad mushrooms at work) sticks a finger down the girl’s throat to get her to vomit. “It’s green and it’s on fire…the sky…” says Victoria, as the group tries to decide whether to roll her across the exit line, out of the competition and into what they hope will be a medical evacuation. Except the helicopter call button is past the “exit line,” and no one wants to sacrifice him- or herself to save the chick who might be slipping into a coma, or might just be on the crest of a bad trip.

“This went a lot further than I thought it would go,” admits Esther, but by morning, she’s contending that Victoria probably was looking for a way out of the game in the first place — a lie made easier because Victoria is all “I AM SO AUDI!” from her first moment of lucidity. Victoria tells everyone they ought to join her on the chopper out, but won’t get into specifics. Daniel tracks her down near the exit line and begs for more intel. “I’m not gonna stick around ’cause I know what’s gonna happen,” says Victoria, who apparently had some kind of fungi-induced vision. “You guys are all gonna die. I gotta go.” And off she galavants. Daniel, now on his third strike at the game of self-preservation, stands there like a lean slab of human steak and watches her go. What a maroon!

What did you think of Episode 2 of Siberia? Are you fully hooked, or are you still on the fence? Sound off in the comments with your opinions and burning questions — and for all my recaps, news and commentary, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Bill B says:

    Horrible show. Unbelievable plot lines matched with bad acting.

    • If I had to guess (and this is just to give the show SOME sort of saving grace), I think it’s intended to be super campy. You can’t have a campy movie without horrible acting, bad affects, and questionable plot points. At least, in my opinion.

      • Gamaof3 says:

        Do you mean bad “effects?” If so I agree, as I didn’t see any affectations other than the “model.”

    • EILEEN HOLTZ says:

      AGREED! I couldn’t/can’t stand “Survivor” and after one episode of this shtick, I chose not to watch another one. Better choice is “The Dome” which is on at the same time on CBS. Much better show and more realistic intrigue.

  2. John says:

    What the Frak did I just watch? I want that hour of my life back!

    • JEst says:

      If you could tell it sucked that continued to watch for the full hour, as opposed to just part of it, then you don’t deserve that hour back as punishment for your poor decision making skills. In all honesty I checked it out too lol so I’m not one to talk :)

  3. Sarah H. says:

    Very entertaining! Can’t wait to see what’s next…

  4. SVUnCI says:

    This may be the stupidest, most campy show ever; but I still find it way more enjoyable (and somewhat more believable) than the snoozefest called Under the Dome.

    • I like UtD, but can’t stand this. I watched the pilot, and never went back. I like campy movies …. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was an Academy Award Winner compared to this.

      • Gamaof3 says:

        I’m totally with you on this one. they’re on in the same time slot and I thought I’d Tivo one and watch the other. So I watched the pilot and Tivoed Under the Dome. Huge waste of time! Skipped it last night. Just too unrealistic and unbelievable.

        • A very obvious set up, IMHO. One HAPPENS to hurt his ankle, someone HAPPENS to get killed, another HAPPENS to insist on taking a bed and being a general 8itch and yet another HAPPENS to hear a creepy (I assume… I’m deaf) growl. Just in the first episode. I would not be shocked to learn they are ‘actors’ (yea, right) and NBC was trying to fool viewers.

          • ben says:

            @Scott – NBC trying to fool viewers? The show is a scripted drama, and they are all actors – openly… what did you think you were watching?

  5. Chance says:

    This is this year’s Harper’s Island/Person’s Unknown. A single season series that is ridiculously silly but also kind of entertaining. I for one am enjoying the It’s a fun little distraction.

  6. gazebo says:

    I admit, it’s kinda stupid and yeah, you’d think everyone will want to go to the chopper and go home considering someone got killed and there might be a crazed animal after them. But you know, people in horror movies or shows rarely do the logical thing. I’m hooked. I just want to sit back and see who the next idiot will be getting killed.

  7. Geoff Camlin says:

    Apparently I am in the minority because I have enjoyed both episodes of this show. I am a big fan of Survivor and really like the idea of this show having both that reality show feel (equipped with personal confessionals shot exactly as Survivor does it) and the drama amongst the group. I like that they have slowed playing the creature in the woods thus far and havent yet turned it into a full-on monster horror show. I like this show and will continue to watch.

  8. Matt says:

    I ended up watching this in error. My dvr recording stopped and I was playing around on my tablet so I just let this show go in the background. I was so confused though. I kept thinking it was a scripted reality show we were supposed to believe wasn’t but now that I know better i might keep watching.

  9. xwiseguyx says:

    I’m done with Siberia..just too unrealistic with how the contestants react / interact (for a much better reality show satire, I’ll take Joe Schmo) but I’ll check out the final episode (like I did with Harper Island)… In the meantime, I’ll continue to just be entertained reading the recaps..

  10. Yollo says:

    a poor rip-off of Blair Witch

  11. Ally Oop says:

    I really enjoyed this. Made me laugh so many times outloud though, especially when Sabina came out of the cave and said “Don’t go in. There’s a drop-off” and earlier when she raised her hand that she knew how to use a gun. I am really intrigued by just who Sabina is. I gotta say, so many good shows for me to watch on TV this summer: Siberia, Under the Dome, Defiance, Continuum, Saving Hope, Teen Wolf and Amazing Race Canada. I only watch about four hours of TV a week this time of a year so I will have a lot to carry me over until all the regular tv season starts in mid to late September. I might not even get to the many hours of shows I have PVRed from this past tv season. I think I’m gonna have to delete all the Game of Thrones and Arrow episodes I have on my PVR–if I haven’t gotten to them by now, I never will.

  12. R.O.B. says:

    People checking this show out need to realize that they are trying to mimic Survivor stereotypes, and so far I think they are spot on. None of these actors is overacting, they seem like run of the mill reality show contestants to me. Of course there is the suspend-disbelief factor of people dying (and surely a real show would have never aired if that was the case), but the host did say that the death was due to a fall. Pretty realistic that a number of them might be ticked off if they cancelled the show after having flown them to Siberia because of an accident. I am interested to see where this goes. I hope they let it run its course without yanking it. I thought it was a little dumb, though, of the kid with the glasses to not mention that he came upon a pool of blood in the woods – that’s bad writing, omitting that.

  13. Aeol says:

    My husband and I watched the pilot after just not turning off ANW, and when they got to the end and were all, “Johnny has mysteriously been clawed to death, who wants out?” we realized we weren’t watching a traditional reality show. The acting on UtD is abysmal but now that I know what Siberia is all about, and (hopefully) not supposed to be all serious, I can just watch and laugh.

  14. Marilyn says:

    Wait! This show is scripted??? Now I find out! No wonder there was nothing in the News about a contestant dying on a reality show! But seriously I didn’t know until the end of the pilot and then I realized something was wrong!!! Boy did I feel duped and kind of stupid! Next time I need to check out what I’m watching before I get invested!

  15. Cass says:

    Its a good idea really, Reality Show Gone Wrong. I enjoyed it, and I find they did a good job of making it seem real even if it might have confused some people. I was kind of bummed about Tommy dying so early on, I mean he was the good guy. It was undeniably stupid that someone would take a different path instead of following the group but I guess some people had to be gone right away so that the show would remain interesting. And hey, maybe they were the smart ones!

  16. Levi says:

    Ugh. I don’t hate this show and I don’t hate Johnny. What is wrong with me?

  17. henry says:

    A fascinating discussion will be worth comment. I do think that you should compose more on this kind of topic, may well be a taboo subject matter but normally people are insufficient to speak upon such topics. To the next. Many thanks

  18. It is obviously fake first of all Siberia has almost no life
    Second whenDaniel went back to the scene where tommy died the blood was fresh after an hour blood turns to a gel
    And third do u really think they’d show Tommy’s death scene when his family was most likely watching. So it is fake but I got to admit it has an interesting plot I’m hooked on the show

  19. William says:

    Now that were farther into the season , I think the show is picking up the pace and getting better

  20. Ugogrl2000 says:

    Siberia Witch Project gone bad! not even close to being like a Survivor. What is this about? Scenes depict people doing not much of anything. Not one bit scary or even exciting. Mostly people standing around on the outside of the woods, in cabins, by campfire or wandering around some trees. After the show is over, it leaves you wandering what has transpired in that hour. Go figure.

  21. Marnie says:

    So, did this show end? Who won? Or was there a winner?