Mistresses Recap: Sex Degrees of Separation [Plus: Take Our Poll & Grade the Premiere!]

Mistresses Premiere RecapJust to be perfectly clear, ABC’s trashy new sudser Mistresses isn’t going to be part of next year’s Emmy race — unless, of course, any/all of the following categories are introduced by the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences:

* Best Adjustment of a Sexy Leather Skirt Following a Quickie in a For-Sale Piece of Beachfront Real Estate

* Best Accidental Flash of Garter During a Business Meeting

* Best Deliberate Flash of Garter After a Business Meeting

* Best Future Psychiatric Malpractice Suit for Sleeping With Sexy Dying Patient, Holding Sexy Patient’s Widow’s Hand During Funeral, Attracting Subsequent Romantic Attention (Without Forceful Rebuff) of His Grieving Son (Oh hells yeah/no!)

* Best Use of “My Late Husband’s Damn Ghost Is Blowing Up My Phone!” as Excuse for Not Reentering Dating Pool With Sexy Divorced Dad

In other words, Mistresses is pure, (not-so-)guilty summer fun — probably not for the whole family — but certainly for those members who long for the era when Titans, Central Park West or at least Desperate Housewives were still on the airwaves. (Me: “Guilty as charged!”)

So let’s boil down the action (both shteamy and otherwise) for our quartet of protagonists — while raising pertinent questions we’ll need to see answered in their futures:

* Savannah (Alyssa Milano) | Lawyer Savannah and her chef hubby Harry are unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant, which has sapped much of the boom-boom-pow from their sex life. When their doctor informs them it’s Harry’s “sperm morphology” that’s the culprit, he withdraws emotionally, leading Savi to buy some sexy lingerie and plan an improptu seduction. One little complication: When her work starts piling up, smokin’ hot coworker Dominic agrees to have the completed file on her desk by morning — if she flashes her undergarments for five full seconds. DEAL! Harry, on the other hand, rejects Savi’s advances, and later turns nasty, accusing Savi of being secretly relieved to not be facing a pregnancy that might bump her from the partnership track at work. This drives our protagonist back to her desk — or, er, on top of her desk — in an unbridled display of passion with Dominic. It’s not right, but it’s rated O…as in the Big O, if I ain’t being too subtle! Key questions: Is Harry already getting it on with that skanky hostess at the restaurant who deliberately forgets the identity of the boss’s wife every time they meet? (Yes, obvi!) Is Dominic secretly angling to beat out Savi for partner? How is it that Alyssa Milano never ages? How many guys are gonna get slapped with an HR summons for attempting the “flash me your lingerie and I’ll finish your work” proposition this week? (Boys, harrassment suits don’t exist in primetime soaps with titles like Mistresses — at least not for folks with less than 2 percent body fat. The real world? That’s another story. Play it safe.)

* Joss (Jes Macallan) | Savi’s realtor sis is banging her very smitten, very married boss in lots of inappropriate places, but draws the line at him buying her the exclusive beach house she’s just listed and being his kept woman. Key questions: Joss is totally going to have an affair with the downtrodden half of the power lesbian couple for whom she’s currently working, right? And now that she’s living in Savi’s beach house, she’s gonna be the one to discover Harry and hostess chick’s horizontal mambo, no?

* Karen (Yunjin Kim) | Karen’s the hottest mess in the mix (thus far). When her sexy patient (coincidentally, a founding partner at Savi’s firm) confesses he’s dying of lung cancer — and that’s he’s been in love with her for at least a year — she can’t resist the urge to begin a torrid, albeit doomed affair. To make matters worse, she also prescribes Thomas (John Schneider) some pills he can use to end it all if/when the pain becomes too much. She winds up front row at dude’s funeral — clutching his wife’s hand, and later counseling his son Sam, who knew his dad was having an affair with someone. (I loved how Karen quickly covered her notes when Sam produced a love letter written in her distinctive linear script.) Long story short: Thomas chose to end his life in the arms of his wife, not Karen, and that makes her realize she was nothing more than a mistress*. And now Thomas’ insurance company is looking into his questionable cause of death. (Uh-oh.) Key questions: Is Karen covering up even more secrets, seeing how she ended the episode shredding Thomas’ files? She’s not seriously going to get something percolatin’ with his son, is she? (She totally is…which is a terrible life choice, but could make for some wicked TV. Also: Those were some awfully pretty flowers he brought to her office.) (*No duh, girlfriend!)

* April (Rochelle Aytes) | Unspeakably pretty April was widowed three years ago, and feels like she might be ready to date again — except for the fact that she keeps getting phone calls…from her dead hubby’s spirit! (Well, so she thinks.) When Hot Dead Guy calls her right as she’s prepping for a first date with Hot Dad Guy, she has Savi’s investigator trace the call to a hotel room where there’s nothing otherworldly but a harried mom whose toddler is obsessed with the phone. Later, Hotel Lady shows up at April’s door with kid in tow and confesses: It’s her love child with April’s late hubby! Key questions: Didn’t April wonder why said child was repeatedly calling her number — and apparently from different locations? Wouldn’t you totes shop at April’s home-furnishings store if it was in your town? Who else wanted the producers to play Mary J. Blige’s “Your Child” at the moment of revelation? (Just me? I can live with that.)

OK, I’m about to pass the 1,000-word count on an article about FREAKIN’ MISTRESSES! Let me turn it over to you: What’d you think of the show? Will you go back for seconds? Take our poll below then sound off in the comments!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Luther says:

    perfect trashy fun for the summer, enjoyed the women as a group most, havent had that since desperate housewives ended.

    • Sparky says:

      Have you seen the BBC version – really good! You should check it out if you get a chance!!!!

      • Huckleberry says:

        They seem to be following the EXACT plot with the American version, although faster and with better looking actresses.

      • Sam says:

        Indeed they are following the BBC version and i wasn’t disappointed. But the characters of Sarah Parish and Orla Brady are so iconic and Yunjin + Milano really have the biggest shoes to fill. i would have actually interchanged their roles. And BBC’s Dominic… oh damn!

        But ABC has done well with this version. I won’t complain.

        Yes Michael Slezak lots of your suggestions will come to be. But if you haven’t please watch the whole of the BBC original version. You won’t be disappointed

        • Chester says:

          Sam, I think you have let the British accents fool you into to thinking that the silly British version of Mistresses was some kind of masterpiece. No disrespect to Brady or Parish, but there’s nothing iconic about their characters or anything else related to that show. It is a fantasy for middle aged women. “I may be kind of chubby and have three kids, but the hot young chef still has a thing for me.”

          I though the original Dominic was a whinging girl. The new Dominic started out hot, and certainly looks hot, but he must be a good actor because it is hard to believe that someone that hot can also be such a whining little girl.

      • asta says:

        Much better than this one.

      • beverly says:

        BBC version is sooooo much better. Don’t like Alyssa Milano in this version.

      • So right. The BBC Version is Great TV. Does it still air?

      • Sara B says:

        The one thing I thought was better in the BBC version was that the doctor character was a GP, not a psychatrist. Even though, in real life, it would be bad for a doctor to sleep with a patient it’s not nearly as bad as a psychatrist doing the same. Also, it would be much less suspicious for a GP to proscribe morphine than a psychatrist.

    • JVee says:

      I don’t even watch this show but will read your comments, Michael! You’re a terrific writer, and I enjoy anything you write about – even if I’m completely uninterested! Kudos. :)

  2. Sparky says:

    Was hoping it would be good trashy fun. I’ve seen and loved the BBC version and the chemistry between the friends and their relevant flings was so much better than this version!!!!

  3. Tracie says:

    OMG I just said the same thing about Alyssa Milano! Did she sell her soul to the Source? (Charmed…anybody…anybody…?)

    • phi says:

      Hahaha I think she did…definitely sold her soul to the Source. Thanks so much for throwback.

      Cole is preventing her from having the baby;-)

  4. April says:

    I am in love! I’m already dying for next week!

  5. sladewilson says:

    Good trashy fun. Perfect summertime TV. And yeah, Alyssa doesn’t age… she got a portrait in an attic somewhere….

  6. It was better than expected to be honest. and Rochelle Aytes is really pretty i mean wow!

  7. Myoshi Brown says:

    Great episode. Now since scandal is not on, Mistresses takes the spotlight and more chat sessions at work. Lol! I got everybody from work tuned in. Gotta support my girl, Alyssa_ Milano!

  8. Chris Palmietto says:

    I’m strangely pumped for this show. I didn’t get to catch the pilot live, but my life is lacking a good guilty pleasure for me to latch way too much emotion on to. Here’s to hoping it updates onto Hulu tomorrow!

  9. Leah says:

    This is the kind of show that, if nothing else is on that I want to watch, I’ll have on in the background as I paint my nails or something. A good old fashioned soap opera, folks!

    • jenna says:

      agree, it won’t be appointment tv for me, maybe something to watch when theres nothing else wrong. Personally I found the pilot to be really predictable and a bit boring

  10. Shuayb says:

    I thought that this was quite a good show. Its kinda soapy but it has real dramatic issues that people deal with unlike days and bold and titans etc… Alyssa was great as usual and it was refreshing to see her on screen without anyone sending fireballs at her. LoL. This is the perfect summer series, I hope it does relatively well and we at least get five seasons out of it. Alyssa is the only child tv star that has done well for herself and is normal. She deserves a good show.

  11. Bass Drum says:

    That was really good.

  12. Christine says:

    I know many will disagree with me bu tto me it seems that cheating is now becoming an everyday thing like going shopping or getting a makeover. What did you do today honey ” Oh i just had sex with my sexy co worker , how was your day ?”. Just about every TV show and maybe 90% of couples have infidelity and it has become so common and boring that a faithful relationship now would actually excite me to see on TV ! Imagine that .. a couple that actually loves each other enough not to cheat. Nah too unrealistic i guess.
    Has society really changed so much that cheating is now considered the norm rather than the exception ?
    This everybody cheats all the time thing going on right now is kind of sad.
    Well the series is called mistresses for a reason so i guess we knew what to expect.

    • Brooke says:

      Has society changed? Hon, check out history. Cheating and extramarital affairs have been going on routinely forever. Marrying for love, however, is a relatively new concept. It used to be for much of history that marriage was for a variety of reasons (sharing household tasks needed to survive, business arrangements, keeping resources within a family group, political arrangements, etc) that had nothing to do with love. Extramarital affairs for love were almost expected during those times (often more so for the men than the women, but not always).

      • Christine says:

        well i am going only back to my parents and grandparents generation where they are still together after 37 and 60 years. It just seems to me that society in the last 5 years has shifted from that as being an ideal situation to a more selfish ( some may call it self fulfilling ) interpretation of a relationship. Dont get me wrong , everyone knows there is cheating and betrayal but my point is that now its like everywhere. THere barely is a relationship on TV that hasnt had infedility to the point that its getting absurd.
        I am in no way naive or dont know that sometimes cheating is inevitable if a marriage goes sour but it just seems like overkil and overdone on TV now.
        For me it would be refreshing to see a couple who find each other actuaölly resist all the temtations we have all the time.
        And no i am not a religous nuthead ,…

        • Brooke says:

          I think if you’re only looking at the last 5 years, or at the past two immediate generations in your own personal family, then you’re taking a very limited slice of history to make your argument. Why did you pick 5 years? What about shows like Dallas and Dynasty 30 years ago that were soapy and dramatic and included affairs in their drama? What about original daytime soaps from 50 years ago? They were not about happy marriages. What about the “free love” era of the 60s? Nothing has “shifted” away from any “ideals” in the last 5 years.

          TV requires conflict to keep the story moving forward. Healthy relationships sometimes are able to be interesting (Friday Night Lights, for one), but writers need a reason to keep us coming back for more.

        • Fran says:

          Christine, I’m with you. No, cheating is nothing new and it probably hasn’t really changed, but that doesn’t mean that has to be the go to storyline. That’s more my problem. I know many people find stable relationships boring and I’m fine with showing conflict, but it doesn’t always have to be cheating. That’s just the easiest storyline to do and one that shows will always continue to use. Of course like you said- we’re talking about a show called Mistresses so it doesn’t really apply here.

    • Jade says:

      Society has not changed one bit… Our TV is just getting a bit more European: blunt and raw

    • Martina says:

      Which is better TV of yesteryear with perfect families or TV with imperfect people, like most of us are

    • jinxxy says:

      Entertainment by adultery is not a topic I will be watching. Sure there were people that cheated in the past and a sprinkling of shows here and there, but no everyone wasn’t doing it. Have we come some far as women to once again only be defined by who and how many we sleep with.

      Mistress is such a polite word for such ugly behaviors. I doubt many would watch the show if given its true name…Sluts, hoes, and dime pieces.

  13. Maria says:

    They’d better bring CGB back! That was a good show! Mistresses not so much :(

  14. NickiN says:

    This fills the void Desperate Housewives left – no where near as good but it scratches that itch for sure!

  15. Bren says:

    I thought it was awesome, particular to see the ageless one Alyllisa the girl doesn’t age been a fan since who’s the boss, now I no I want be bored this summer!!!

  16. ruby says:

    Loved it,was waiting for it to premiere..Jesus,the lady who plays April is stunningly beautiful..I mean WOW!!

  17. Eric says:

    I was not expecting to enjoy it as much as I did, but now I’m HOOKED!!! Can’t wait till next Monday!!! Mistresses is my new guilty pleasure!!!

  18. Erin C says:

    Am I the only one who thinks the wife had more to do with Thomas’ death then just being there to support him? Like maybe she discovered his affair with Karen and it was HER choice, not his, that he ‘end his suffering’??

  19. Kira says:

    I gave this show a shot, mostly because of Alyssa Milano, and I’m glad I did!!! All four women are gorgeous and have great chemistry with each other. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the friendship between the women. Can’t wait to see where these storylines are headed. This show is my new guilty pleasure :)

  20. adlib19 says:

    Fire up Netflix and watch the BBC version. Plus, that version has a fun Fringe connection with both Orla Brady as a series regular and special guest star Anna Torv.

  21. tina says:

    As already commented – just subpar compared to the BBC version. Not as hot, well written and all over Hollywood flashed-up. Too bad. They should have done more changes with the storyline to differentiate what was already a great bit of tv trash.

    • asta says:

      Karen on the BBC version was so much better, don’t you agree?

      • tina says:

        I liked that she was a family friend GP. My preference was with Siobhan. Although I love Alyssa Milano, she just didn’t have the sex appeal that Orla Brady had. Plus when she evidently gets pregnant with her colleague, they will be able to tell whose baby it is easily.

  22. Cherry says:

    The pilot was great! The cast is very nicely chosen, and to anyone who thinks that this show is glamorising cheating .. then you’re wrong. All the women have (and will) suffer as a result of it.

    It’s great sexy, summer tv.

  23. KSM says:

    I stumbled on last night – perfect summer tv. I’ll definitely tune in again!

  24. harleyb says:

    My 72-year old dad has been talking about this premiere for weeks and I only watched so I could tease him about being an old goat!….and now I can’t stop talking about it. Totally guilty pleasure. And cosign on all comments about Alyssa…..She’s the boss!

  25. sara says:

    Are they copying a lot of the original’s storylines? Haven’t watched yet but several of the storylines sound lifted right from there

  26. Scott says:

    Well that was much better than I thought it would be. I’ll definitely be watching this! It seems like it’ll fill my Desperate Housewives-sized void.

  27. Jim says:

    Blah. I stupidly thought I would give this a try but its even worse than I thought. I’ll take a show with strong women anyday. But its trashy so I’m sure it’ll succeed. No offense to anyone that likes it, I just cant get into a show about cheating.

    • T says:

      The show is called “Mistresses”. Probably the first clue that it would be about cheating.

      • Jim says:

        No crap T. But I possibly thought that the women would have more depth and wouldn’t just be about the cheating. I didn’t see it that way so its not my thing. Its just my opinion, no need to be smart about it.

  28. Kyle says:

    I’m hooked! Wasn’t expecting much but it was sudsy, glossy, and perfectly entertaining! All the women are likeable and I definitely want to see how this plays out.

  29. Ziyal says:

    thrilled to have Yunjin back on our screens :)

  30. Joeii Webb says:

    Come on! It’s alot better than any of the other new crap. I thought it was interesting and I liked the dynamic of the ladies. Not a real serious show of course, but only a prude could say its trashy. Alyssa Milano exposing panties? Quick cover your eyes! LMAO! It’s a perfect guilty pleasure type of thing. Although I didn’t care for the Asian lady. Scary skinny. Not many men would really go for a boney drug prescribing crooked therapist. I love the idea of the forbidden relationships and the scandals. Prime time needed some spicing up and I hope many more shows follow in that format. BBC version is also great. I had the honor of seeing 6 of the episodes. It gets better! It’s not all sex and adultery! I promise you! HEY! ANYTHING BEATS ANOTHER IDIOTIC REALITY DATING TYPE OF SHOW! Puke puke puke! Maybe because I am not a fossil is why I enjoyed the show. I understand if older people dislike it! But anyone under 30 wouldn’t be offended or put off by the sexiness. The dynamic of Alyssa’s character and her African American co worker, was so steamy and so good! Not putting anyone down everyone is entitled to their viewpoint!. Good luck mistresses!

    • Fran says:

      Give me a break Joeli! I happen to be 28 and I think the cheating is trashy not the sex scenes. Not wanting to watch something like this does not make someone a prude. If u don’t want to put anyone down and let everyone have their opinion- I suggest you dont call anyone who didn’t like the show a prude or a fossil.

  31. Elyse says:

    I finally got to watch it today (its on too late for me to watch live) I liked it. Good trashy summer drama! if they renew it and make it a fall show I can’t promise I would keep watching. I hope if it sticks around its as a summer show.

  32. LaLa says:

    Like many, I ended up liking it more than expected. Will definitely add it to my DVR list.

  33. Danielle H. says:

    Lol I actually rather liked it. Very predictable, but God it’s a fun nighttime soap. I need more shows like this in my life!!! I hope it sticks around.