Glee Recap: All the Right Movies [Updated]

glee diamonds are a girls best friend material girl“This is like the third act in the movie where the heartbroken guy chases through the crowded city streets to win his girl back. And then he does some big romantic gesture and the music swells and the crowd applauds and their eyes well up with tears. And then she’ll take you back. That’s just the way it works.”

So spoke Glee‘s Finn Hudson, passionately advocating that his mentor Will Schuester track down his runaway fiancée, club her over the head and drag her back to the cave.

Okay, maybe all Finn wanted Schue to do was give a Say Anything-style musical performance — boom box overhead, belting “In Your Eyes” — till the ginger-haired guidance counselor found herself unable to resist the entreaty.

But things don’t always work out like they do in the movies, or at least not in the small-screen world of McKinley High. Here’s what went down on a movie-music-themed episode that was packed with performances:

* Still reeling from Emma leaving him at the altar, but bolstered by Finn’s pep talk, Will sought out his runaway bride and tried to woo her back with a serenade aided (perhaps a litte dubiously) by the kids of New Directions. Emma, though, feeling like she didn’t really know the man who came back from his trip to Washington, D.C. — and the Blue Ribbon Panel for Arts Education — wasn’t quite ready to put a ring on it. The duo instead settled for a Friday-night movie date to start rebuilding their relationship. Oh, and when Finn finally confessed to kissing Emma — she was right, bee tee dubs, when she told him to keep his trap shut — Schue gave him an ice-cold glare and silently walked away.

* Snowed in inside their Brooklyn apartment, Santana picked at Rachel and Kurt’s emotional scabs and insecurities (after doing a thorough rummaging of their pockets, drawers and garbage cans). Santana’s probing made Kurt’s new beaux Adam realize Kurt wasn’t yet over Blaine, but it didn’t deter the upperclassman, only made him more resolved to create their own memories and not be viewed as a rebound guy. (That’s gonna be an uphill battle…but good for him anyway!) Santana also got Rachel stressing that Brody (stuck in Manhattan due to the storm) might be a drug dealer. How else to explain the presence of $1,500 in cash and a pager? Yep, a pager? (I’m still betting dude’s an escort.) In the episode’s most emotional scene, Santana also got Rachel to confess that her home pregnancy test had come up positive. I wish we’d seen a little more of the intense interaction between these two gal pals, and maybe a little less of the Marley-Jake relationship drama. Is it just me?

* Finally, the kids of New Directions had a boys-vs-girls movie songs mashup showdown — and both sides were declared the winners. During a session at the potter’s wheel, meanwhile, Marley confessed to Jake that Ryder had kissed her — and she’d let him — causing the younger Puckerman brother to storm out of the room without even washing the clay off his hands! Eww.

Grades for This Week’s Musical Performances
Will & Emma: “You’re All The World To Me” | Grade: A-

Blaine, Brittany and New Directions, “Shout” | Grade: A-

Blaine & Kurt, “Come What May” | Grade: A

Guys of New Directions, “Old Time Rock And Roll”/”Danger Zone” | Grade: B+

Unique, Marley and the ladies of New Directions, “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend”/ “Material Girl” | Grade: C

Will, “In Your Eyes” | Grade: B

Jake & Ryder, “Unchained Melody” | Grade: C+

New Directions, “Footloose” | Grade: B-

Episode’s Best Zingers
“You don’t get dibs on Les Mis just because you’re the poster.” –Kitty to Marley, after will announces the week’s “songs from the movies” assignment

“He smelled all talcum-y, like a Cabbage Patch doll.” –Santana, describing her initial impression of Brody

“Boys are like lumps of coal: They’re dirty and cheap and they get hot when they’re rubbed. And some turn into diamonds. So collect as many as you can.” –Kitty advising Marley on her Jake-Ryder dilemma

“[The shower is] where he’ll be for the next hour, scrubbing the drug shame off his frictionless body.” –Santana, airing more suspicions about the source of Brody’s money

And with that, I turn things over to you: Hit the comments with your thoughts on “Girls (and Boys) on Film”!