Fox Sweeps Scoopapalooza: Deaths, Drugs, Blind Items, Prom and... The Goonies?!

Fox just dropped off one of our favorite documents of the year – its May Sweeps round-up – and suffice it to say, high drama is in plentiful supply as House, Bones, Glee, Fringe and the rest of the network’s scripted series sew up their seasons. We’ve boiled the 5,000-word press release down for you, show-by-show (in alphabetical order). But be warned: This promises to be a mighty download of scoops, teasers and outright spoilers.

Bones | Each of the team members attempts to be more forthcoming in their relationships (April 28)…. Angela keeps Hodgins in the dark regarding the details of her pregnancy (May 5)…. When Jacob Broadsky claims another victim – and then a bullet meant for Booth strikes an innocent victim – Booth makes it his mission to catch the sniper once and for all (May 12)…. When the remains of a bowler are found in the automatic pinsetter of a bowling alley, Booth and Brennan go undercover in a competitive bowling league (May 19).

Bones Boss: Emily Deschanel’s Pregnancy May Result In a ‘Curtailed’ Season 7

Breaking In | Oz’s team is assigned to safeguard the sequel to The Goonies at Comic-Con (May 4)…. After botching a gig protecting KFC’s secret recipe, Oz organizes a team-building exercise (May 11)…. Tracking a cyber-bully, Cameron finds himself back at his former high school; Mike Tyson guest stars (May 18).

The Chicago Code | Teresa’s plan to make her case against Alderman Gibbons takes an unexpected turn (May 2)…. Teresa risks tipping Gibbons off to her big-picture plan; Jarek faces reality when an anonymous package reveals more about the Wysocki family (May 9)…. As the case against Gibbons escalates, Teresa, Jarek and Caleb scramble to locate a star witness (May 16)…. Jarek confronts family issues that have haunted him for years; Teresa’s case against Gibbons comes to a climactic conclusion (May 23).

Fringe | Olivia must trust Sam Weiss (guest star Kevin Corrigan) during a race against time (April 29, “The Last Sam Weiss”)…. Peter confronts his destiny; a beloved team member meets an untimely demise (May 6, “The Day We Died”).

Fringe Spoiler Alert: Apocalypse, Sex and Doomsday Devices – Oh My!

Glee | Sue revives the school paper, if only to plant inflammatory blind items (where does she get such an idea?); April Rhodes (Kristin Chenoweth) invites Will to hit the road with her (May 3, “Rumors”)…. The competition for prom king and queen intensifies (hush, random extra!); Jessie St. James (Jonathan Groff) returns (May 10, “Prom Queen”)…. New Directions strategizes for Nationals; an unexpected loss rocks the world of one of McKinley’s own (May 17, “Funeral”)…. Nationals in New York City! (May 24).

Ask Ausiello: Spoilers on Glee, Bones and More

House | Cuddy’s mother (Candice Bergen) threatens to sue the hospital for malpractice, jeopardizing Cuddy and House’s medical licenses; Donal Logue (Terriers) also guest stars (May 2, “Changes”)…. The team begins to suspect House may have another type of drug problem (May 9, “The Fix”)…. Thirteen gets a visit from a friend/fellow ex-con (Amy Landecker); House deals with devastating information (May 16, “After Hours”)…. Shohreh Aghdashloo (24) makes like Franco as a performance artist who just may be involving PPTH in her latest work; a situation prompts House to do something very unexpected that could change his relationship with Cuddy and Wilson permanently (May 23, “Moving On”).

Robert Sean Leonard Declares: ‘This Is My Last Season on House

Raising Hope | The entire family experiments with flirting (May 3)…. Hope’s baby monitor starts picking up the conversations of troubled neighbors played by My Name Is Earl‘s Ethan Suplee and Jaime Pressly (May 10)…. The fam flashes back to when Jimmy, then a Goth, turned 18 (May 17).

And last but not least….

Traffic Light | Liza uses the GPS trackers on their cell phones to keep tabs on Mike (May 3)…. The guys go on a hunting trip (May 17)…. Mike and Lisa hire a scantily clad babysitter (Carlson Young; start Googling!) for Tommy (May 17).

Ready, set… OMG!