Sunday might mean the end of the weekend, but we’re going with a more glass-half-full approach: It also means we get to share our latest Quotes of the Week compilation with you.
In the list below, we’ve gathered more than a dozen of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including scripted moments from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
This time around, we’ve got The Orville‘s nod to another intergalactic favorite, the start of a strange new voyage for For All Mankind‘s Ed, a quick New Jersey 101 lesson for Ms. Marvel and a missed joke opportunity for host Vanessa Hudgens during the MTV Movie & TV Awards.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of The Boys, Late Night With Seth Meyers and Netflix’s tribute to the late, great Bob Saget, plus quotable moments from Fear the Walking Dead, Obi-Wan Kenobi and All Rise.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
“Is this a staring contest?”
Princess Leia (Vivien Lyra Blair), Queen of Sass, not falling for Reva’s mind tricks
“#BlackLivesMatter is my favorite hashtag. My Insta? Nothing but black screens.”
Ashley (Colby Minifie) tries to make the case that Vought cares about social justice
THE BOYS (Bonus Quote!)
“You’re like Ashton Kutcher f—ked a clownfish.”
A-Train (Jessie T. Usher) tells The Deep what he thinks of him
2022 MTV MOVIE & TV AWARDS
“Apparently high school musicals have changed since 2006. Euphoria High does not do it like East High did. There’s a lot less singing, a lot more hair pulling, and a lot more cleavage.”
Why would Vanessa Hudgens refer to the school on Euphoria as “Euphoria High” when its actual name, Eastland High, works so much better in this context?
FOR ALL MANKIND
“Wow, it’s like being on the Love Boat.”
Ed (Joel Kinnaman) watches a “Welcome” video on board the Polaris Orbital Hotel
FEAR THE WALKING DEAD
“That baby is everything to me. I’m not gonna let you take her.”
“She’s better off with me than you. And you’ll get over it. I did.”
Li’l Mo’s abductor Madison (Kim Dickens) makes a lasting first impression on Morgan (Lennie James)
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS
“The GOP nominee for Senate in Pennsylvania is now officially none other than Dr. Oz. I mean, how can you be the best man for the job when you’re not even the best Oprah doctor spinoff?”
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS (Bonus Quote!)
“Of course Fox isn’t carrying it! They’re a key suspect in it! That would be like if Court TV’s coverage of the O.J. trial had been hosted by O.J.”
Meyers makes sense of Fox News not covering the Jan. 6 committee hearing like everyone else
“Mark, come on, let’s be honest. You are more of a domesticated cat than a lone wolf.”
Lola (Simone Missick) sets Mark straight when he argues against his accepting the managerial job of Head Deputy DA
“How likely is it I’m gonna find [my bike] there when I get back?”
“In Jersey City…? Ohhhh, I’d say you have 0.0001 percent chance.”
Bruno (Matt Lintz) has bad news for Kamala (Iman Vellani)
DIRTY DADDY: THE BOB SAGET TRIBUTE
“John Mayer very, very, very generously hired a private jet to fly Bob’s body home from where he died. But you might not know he also hired the Goodyear Blimp to fly Louie Anderson’s body home.”
No joke is off limits for “Roastmaster General” Jeff Ross
DIRTY DADDY: THE BOB SAGET TRIBUTE (Bonus Quote!)
“Sorry I can’t be there. A friend of mine, a comic, passed away, and I ended up getting his dates…”
Jon Lovitz, definitely not filming this before taking the stage for Saget
“…so, let’s give this everything we’ve got, and… may the Force be with you.”
Ed’s (Seth MacFarlane) pep talk takes a cue from some fellow galactic trailblazers
DAYS OF OUR LIVES
“I’ll tell you who I choose — I choose me, damn it!”
“Hold on, ‘I choose me?’ That’s a line from that ‘90s show you’re so obsessed with.”
“OK, so I quote the queen Kelly Taylor when I get stressed out. Sue me!”
Kudos to Chanel (Raven Bowens) and Allie (Lindsay Arnold) for knowing their soap history