THE COUPLE | Orange Is the New Black‘s Piper and Alex*

THE LATEST | While in Chicago to testify at Alex’s former boss’ drug trial, the ladies have a warm-yet-fleeting moment (even though they’re separated by bars) as Alex begs her ex to lie under oath. “It’s the only way I can keep you safe,” she says gravely.

OUCH! | Against the advice of her lawyer (aka Larry’s dad), Pipes perjures herself by saying she never met the drug kingpin in question. But Alex tells the truth (!), earning her freedom (!!) and leaving a livid Piper to return to Litchfield alone.

THE FORECAST | We’re guessing no one’s going to want to go near Hurricane Piper in the coming episodes; girlfriend’s got some major rage against her glasses-wearing former love.

*Note: We’re only reporting on romantic updates from the Netflix series’ Season 2 premiere for now, so we won’t spoil those who didn’t binge-watch every episode.