In an abrupt departure from his dour Golden Globes performance, the Lincoln nominee turned his frown upside down in the first few moments of the show.
Wisest Hypothetical Question Posed by a Starfleet Officer: Captain Kirk
“Why can’t Tina and Amy host everything?” asked William Shatner’s alter ego. To this we say: Most logical.
Best Dancing by Two People With Crewcuts: Charlize Theron and Channing Tatum
…Though we wouldn’t have objected to a little Magic Mike action, ChanMan.
The Finding Nemo “Just Keep Swimming” Award: Life of Pi Visual Effects Team
Despite the increasingly loud Jaws theme music meant to play them off — the first of several instances of the dunh-dunh scare tactics — they just kept thanking people until producers had to cut their mic. Ah well, at least they got a sympathy cringe from Nicole Kidman.
Best Reminder That You’re Never Too Old to Rock the Oscars: Shirley Bassey
On a night where younger divas — J.Hud, Adele, Norah Jones — all served up stellar vocal performances, the 76-year-old Queen of the Bond Theme more than held her own with a scintillating rendition of “Goldfinger,” and brought out her (ahem) Golden Globes in the process.
Missed Marketing Tie-In: MAC Cosmetics Blot Powder
We know the stars (including John Travolta) shine, but should they actually… shine?
The ‘Get It Girl’ Award for Vocal Performance and Overall Awesomeness: Jennifer Hudson
The Oscar winner/Idol alum’s stunning rendition of “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” was a welcome (albeit unnecessary) reminder: Good god, this woman can sing! (Now for the love of all that’s holy, America, start watching J.Hud on NBC’s Smash!)
The ‘Aw, Good Try, Buddy’ Award for Vocal Performance and Overall Tenaciousness: Russell Crowe
…Because we know we wouldn’t want to try to match pipes with Jackman & Co.
Most Refreshing Pair of Presenters: Mark Wahlberg and Ted
We can’t believe we’re saying this, but Ted’s New England accent (“Ahhgo” and “Zero Dahhk Thirty”) and Wahlberg’s “No BS” were among the most enjoyable moments of the evening.
Best Love/Hate Moment for a Musical: The Sound of Music
MacFarlane tossed in an unexpected – and funny – gag about the Von Trapp family’s end-of-film escape (yay!), then star Christopher Plummer told the orchestra to find a new tune to accompany him (boo!).
Most Hotly Debated Moment from an Acceptance Speech: Anne Hathaway
“It came true!”: Sweet or OH LORD STOP IT? You be the judge.
Photobomber of the Evening: Harvey Weinstein
The überproducer, scrambling to get to his seat, inadvertently horned in on Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences president Hawk Koch’s big moment at the mic.
Winner We’d Most Love to Have Cosmos With: Adele
She sang like an angel. She rocked hair so luxurious the ladies of RuPaul’s Drag Race were hissing with envy. And instead of turning a verklempt moment at the mic (while accepting the award for the Skyfall theme) into a huge drama, she waved it off with a laugh while squeaking out a thank-you to her main squeeze. First round’s on us, lady.
The Power of the Pen Award: Quentin Tarantino
We didn’t know it could be done! The Django Unchained mastermind overcame his play-off music (which, interestingly, wasn’t the Jaws tune) to shout out love for his fellow nominees in the Best Original Screenplay category. #Classy
Best Recovery: Jennifer Lawrence
That gorgeous dress’ gigantic skirt got the best of her on the way up the stairs to accept the Best Actress trophy, but JLaw’s good-natured acknowledgement of the fall was a far more graceful turnaround than we ever could’ve managed. To borrow from Nigel Lythgoe on Twitter: It’s OK, Jennifer — we fell for you months ago.
The Hidden Shecky Award: Daniel Day-Lewis
While up on stage to accept Best Actor, the intense star joked about trading roles with Meryl Streep (for The Iron Lady!) and laughed about all of the men his wife has had to “live with” throughout their marriage. Who knew Lincoln had it in him?
The Classing Up the Joint Award: First Lady Michelle Obama
She looked as comfortable announcing Best Picture as she does advocating for healthy kids or standing by her famous hubby. What can’t this woman do?
Best Acceptance Speech: Ben Affleck
The emotional Argo director gave a heartfelt thanks to wife Jennifer Garner and spoke candidly about his ups and down in Hollywood. When he lost it after thanking his kids, we did, too!
What moments from the 2013 Oscars would make your Best/Worst list? Hit the comments with your thoughts!