• olympics-opening-ceremony-national-anthem

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    I never thought I’d describe a national anthem as “chill” … and then Paulinho da Viola strummed his way into my life.

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-bugs

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    The performers began by channeling their inner Julie Taymors for a demonstration of Brazil’s rich rainforest life. (Pictured here: The Very Hungry [Brazilian] Caterpillar.)

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-ninjas

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    Truly, I haven’t seen projection work this mind-blowing since Beyoncé at the 2011 Billboard Music Awards. And this was much more impressive. (That’s right, I just gave Beyoncé the silver. Wanna fight about it?)

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-aviation-drama

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    It’s apparently a widespread belief that a Brazilian harnessed the power of flight before the Wright Brothers — and Matt Lauer could not have been shadier while explaining that during the broadcast: “The Brazilians don’t think so. They think it was a guy named Alberto Santos-Dumont.” (Who knew Lauer was so passionate about aviation history?)

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-kanye-west

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    Oh, boy, here’s Kanye West trying to interrupt me for not giving Beyoncé the gold medal a few slides back.

    Just ignore him, he’ll go away.

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-giselle-bundchen

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    You can laugh now, but when runway walking is introduced as a full-fledged event at the next Olympic games, you’ll have Gisele Bündchen to thank.

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-gisele-2

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    An open request to all future award show producers: The next time you get the urge to cut to Taylor Swift dancing in the audience, cut to Bündchen instead. I don’t even care if she’s not there. Cut to her at home.

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-global-warming-1

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    Whoa, wait, what? I thought this was supposed to be a party.

    Too real, Olympics!

    Too real!

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-global-warming-2

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    No, seriously, where are all the ice caps going?

    What’s “global warming”?!

    Why hasn’t someone made an inconvenient movie about this?!?!

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-selfie-sticks

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    There’s been a lot of talk about who the real star of this show is: The athletes? The performers? The people of Brazil? (I think the answer is clear. It’s the selfie sticks.)

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-music-man

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    I don’t know much about sports, but mark my words: Aruba is going to crush all Music Man-related events this summer.

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-bike

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    I’m not even sure Dr. Seuss would know what to call this thing.

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-crying-guy

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    Matt Lauer waxed poetically about this young man’s emotions over entering the Olympic stadium. (In reality, he was this close to catching a Pikachu. Been there, buddy.)

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-shorts

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    Hoda Kotb nearly lost her s–t when she saw that Team Bermuda was wearing shorts in the Olympic stadium…

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-hoda-2

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    …but then she was like, “Check out Djibouti!” and giggled, so now I don’t know where her limit is.

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-michael-phelps

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    “Hey, Miley Cyrus? It’s Michael Phelps calling. Listen, I’m trying to figure out what to do with my tongue during tonight’s opening ceremony. Any suggestions?”

  • olympics-opening-ceremony-tonga

    Olympics Opening Ceremony
    Image Credit: Courtesy of NBC

    And the Internet apparently had a field day — as its known to do — over Tonga’s fetching flag bearer, Pita Taufatofua.

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