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Quotes of the Week for Oct. 8, 2017
FAMILY GUY
“Hi. George Clooney, second-worst Batman.”
“Peter Griffin, second-best Homer.”
Just a coupla guys introducing themselves in an unusually self-aware manner
SUPERGIRL
“Don’t cry. If you cry, then I’m gonna cry, and everybody here is going to know that we actually can cry.”
Alex (Chyler Leigh) urges J’onn to keep up his tough front
HALT AND CATCH FIRE
“Any shortness of breath?”
“Get a little lightheaded sometimes if I s—t real big.”
Bosworth (Toby Huss) divulges too much information — even for a doctor’s visit
HALT AND CATCH FIRE (Bonus Quote!)
“Let me start by asking a question…”
Joe (Lee Pace) closes out the series the same way he began it
WILL & GRACE
“Grace, I can’t make it in today. [Coughs twice] I sprained my ankle.”
Karen (Megan Mullally), calling in “sick”
KEVIN (PROBABLY) SAVES THE WORLD
“And you still haven’t figured out the right way to do it.”
“There’s a right way?”
“Ugh, such a waste.”
“Tell me the right way!”
Yvette (Kimberly Hebert Gregory) informs Kevin (Jason Ritter) that he has much to learn about sex
GOTHAM
“Listen, I need all the info you can get on a man named Ra’s al Ghul. It could be connected.”
“Sure, but how do you spell—” [GCPD officer is hung up on by Gordon]
Seriously, Jim (Ben McKenzie), it’s not like you’re asking about a “Bob Smith”
MARVEL’S INHUMANS
“How you people managed to make it to the moon in a machine like this is beyond me.”
“How did you guys get here?”
“My sister’s teleporting dog.”
Medusa (Serinda Swan) sounds doggone crazy to Louise (Ellen Woglom)
THE GIFTED
“Are you telling me you have this whole network and you don’t have—”
“What? Blue Cross? Yeah, we’re on the Mutant Plan.”
Marcos (Sean Teale) reins in nurse Caitlin’s (Amy Acker) X-pectations
THE GOOD PLACE
“I’m gonna do some push-ups, then we’ll go around the room and name our favorite cheese.”
Michael (Ted Danson), attempting to be the life of the party while suffering an existential crisis
ARROW
“This might be a late night, Raisa.”
“I remember when your ‘late nights’ were more like ‘early mornings.'”
Queen family housekeeper Raisa (Kathleen Gati) reminds Oliver (Stephen Amell) of his carousing days
FRESH OFF THE BOAT
“What if it goes well? That means college scholarship! NFL! Tons of money!”
“You marry a white girl, become a Hertz pitchman and then kill your wife because you lost your mind from all the concussions. No, I’m not letting my son become the next O.J.”
Eddie (Hudson Yang) has a difficult time convincing Jessica (Constance Wu) to let him play high school football
TEN DAYS IN THE VALLEY
“I don’t want to put the cops on you, but I will.”
“OK, chill out, all right? I’m just doing my thing. I’m trying to climb my ass out of the ghetto.”
“Oh, shut up. Your father’s a dentist.”
Jane’s (Kyra Sedgwick) drug dealer is more “root canals” than “hard-scrabble roots”
BETTER THINGS
“I had to take care of [my father], which was hilarious, because he hadn’t spoken to me in years. He disowned me when I was 18.”
“‘Cause of gay?”
“Oh, no, he never cared about that. He disowned me for voting Dukakis.”
Turns out politics were tearing Tressa’s (Rebecca Metz) family apart long before the last election
THE LAST SHIP
“Direct hit, sir. Lucia’s ship is smokin’ and sinkin’.”
“Opa!”
Slattery (Adam Baldwin) fittingly goes Greek in celebrating a big win
THE LAST SHIP (Bonus Quote!)
“OOD, bring us in at target angle 170. I want that ship to need a cigarette after this.”
Slattery (Adam Baldwin) aims to do bad things to Vellek’s ship
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS
“President Trump tweeted this morning, ‘With all the fake news coming out of NBC and the networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their license?’ You’re coming after NBC? Well, if they didn’t take our license after the monkey hospital show, they’re not gonna take it for you.”
SUPERNATURAL
“What are you on?”
“I’m on a chair… on the floor… on planet Earth.”
Lucifer’s brand-new-to-the-world son Jack (Alexander Calvert) answers literally when another teen wonders what drugs he’s taken
HAWAII FIVE-0
“When they told me I’d be eating shrimp made in the back of a truck, my expectations were not high. But this shellfish is yummy — and I can get away with saying ‘yummy’ because I’m British.”
Harry Langford (Chris Vance) heads off Danny’s quizzical look at the pass
HAWAII FIVE-0 (Bonus Quote!)
“It’s not a bar and grill. And I hate that shirt so much.”
Danny (Scott Caan) has McIssues with Kamekona’s contribution to the restaurant venture
LUCIFER
“Lucifer…”
“What, you didn’t bring any?”
Chloe (Lauren German) interrupts Lucifer’s (Tom Ellis) tomato-throwing
THE MAYOR
“It’s Phone Book Week. I don’t know why we still have these things. But then again, how would anyone ever find their local Radio Shack or Blockbuster?”
Dina (Yvette Nicole Brown) piles on the sarcasm when discussing the continued existence of phone books
DC’S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW
“Your salad sucks.”
Mick (Dominic Purcell) leafs his way through Julius Caesar’s namesake dish
DC’S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW (Bonus Quote!)
“Lady, why are you so mean?!”
“Maybe it’s that poly-blend pantsuit that’s got her so grumpy.”
“I didn’t know Men’s Wearhouse gave group discounts.”
“What’s wrong with you people? Do you want to get shot?”
“I’d totally rather get shot than look like a Sears model.”
Sara (Caity Lotz) and Nate (Nick Zano) dress down Sharpe (Jes Macallan) and the other Time Bureau agents
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
“Oreo has announced a new contest in which people can win $50,000 for guessing the correct flavor of their new Mystery Cream. Spoiler alert: The flavor is Gary.”
THE MIDDLE
“Ta-da! Say hello to your new bus driver.”
“What happened to Rhoda?”
“She was using her rifle as a crutch. She shot her foot off.”
“The other one?!”
Axl (Charlie McDermott) informs Brick (Atticus Shaffer) he’s going to be his new school bus driver
GREAT NEWS
“When I was in college, I made my own way, giving tug jobs down at the docks! You know, tugging the boats out of the port with my hands!”
Chuck (John Michael Higgins) proves he knows the value of a dollar
KEVIN CAN WAIT
“Golden Phoenix is literally the worst name for a company ever. And I worked for Camel Towing!”
Kevin (Kevin James) disproves his own point when mentioning the name of a former employer
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