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Quotes of the Week for May 27, 2018
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
“You’re running for office?”
“As a matter of fact, I am. I want to be part of the problem, Michael!”
Lindsay (Portia de Rossi) tells her brother (Jason Bateman) why she’s running for Congress
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT (Bonus Quote!)
“Goodbye forever.”
“See you tonight.”
“See you tonight.”
Michael (Jason Bateman) doesn’t even bother to pretend this is the last he’ll see of his mother Lucille (Jessica Walter)
THE EXPANSE
“You need to go.”
“What? No, no, no, your brain just exploded, I have brain matter all over me. You need to tell me what’s going on, right now.”
Monica (Anna Hopkins) is alarmed to see Holden suddenly alarmed
FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE
“We are gonna talk about racism and I just popped an Ambien, so buckle up, everyone!”
TIMELESS
“You were a gentle and responsive lover.”
“I wasn’t that drunk.”
In a deleted scene, Flynn (Goran Višnjić) teases Lucy (Abigail Spencer) about their night “together”
IZOMBIE
“I love you.”
“I know.”
“Oh, no you didn’t!”
Ravi (Rahul Kohli) unsuccessfully tries to Han Solo Peyton (Aly Michalka)
DECEPTION
“He’s a machine. It’s an early form of robotics. He’s built to follow a predetermined set of operations.”
“Are you mansplaining? I know what it is.”
Cameron (Jack Cutmore-Scott) assays the automaton before him and MW (Stephanie Corneliussen)
LUCIFER
“Why are you hiding? Nobody can see you!”
Ella (Aimee Garcia) poses a quite valid question to her “invisible” friend
LUCIFER (Bonus Quote!)
“What happened to doing your hypno-eye thing?”
“Ohhhh, that’s what you meant? Oh, no, we went at it like little bunnies. Next time you should be more specific.”
If we may play Devil’s advocate, Chloe (Lauren German) did merely instruct her new friend (Tom Ellis) to “do your thing”
TODAY
“That’s the last time you use the Telestrator.”
Craig Melvin says what everyone else is thinking when co-host Carson Daly, while trying to clear up an optical illusion, inadvertently draws a suggestive shape on screen
KILLING EVE
“Wait, are you frightened of your own mother?”
“Of course! Isn’t everyone?”
Kenny (Sean Delaney) lays a truth bomb on Eve (Sandra Oh) mid-investigation
THE BACHELORETTE
“She needs a man that smells good, and I’m going to blow her nose away.”
“Colognoisseur” Jean Blanc is a firm believer that the way to Becca’s heart is through her nostrils
THE BACHELORETTE (Bonus Quote!)
“If a guy in a chicken suit gets a rose and I don’t, I would definitely question this universe.”
Leo, worrying for nothing about the potential for “fowl play”
THE HAVES AND THE HAVE NOTS
“Look at me. Now, do I look like someone who is afraid of the police?”
“No. You look like someone who does all the scaring.”
Erica (Presilah Nunez) proves she’s as intimidated by Veronica (Angela Robinson) as Veronica is by the cops
JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE
“I don’t know if you heard about what happened with Roseanne, but I think we could use Felicity…”
Kimmel tries to pitch The Americans’ Keri Russell on a revival of her star-making series, on behalf of ABC
ANIMAL KINGDOM
“Being a grandmother is the reward they give you for raising those bitches.”
Smurf (Ellen Barkin), encouraging a fellow inmate to raise her pregnant daughter’s kid
THE BREAK WITH MICHELLE WOLF
“So I have this theory that Prince Harry saw Meghan Markle in Suits and was a fan of her, and now the rest of their relationship is her shielding him from better shows. He’s like, ‘Suits is the best,’ and she’s like, ‘You’re right! There are no better shows.’ And he’s like, ‘What’s this I hear about Big Little Lies?’ And she’s like, ‘No, it’s terrible. Ugly people, hard to follow, very few suits.'”
THE AMERICANS
“I don’t know how to say this… but I think there’s a chance Renee might be one of us. I’m not sure.”
Philip (Matthew Rhys) drops the hammer — and sickle? — on Stan with a jaw-dropping revelation about his wife
THE AMERICANS (Bonus Quote!)
[in Russian] “We’ll get used to it.”
Elizabeth (Keri Russell) offers Philip an appropriately stoic message of comfort as they enter a new life together in Russia
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