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Heathers Season 'Finale' Recap: Who Didn't Live Long Enough to See Prom?

Heathers Recap

Paramount Network’s controversial Heathers reboot reached its conclusion (sort of) with Monday’s final hour, in which one student’s quest for prom queen glory was cut tragically short, along with her life.

Though it wasn’t the official finale — a tenth episode, which takes place at prom and wraps the story of Season 1, was banned from airing in the wake of the United States’ epidemic of in-school violence — it had all the makings of one. After accidentally stumbling on J.D.’s preparations to destroy the prom, Kurt became his latest victim, complete with a forged suicide note (this show’s favorite thing!) addressing Heather Duke. Naturally, Kurt’s beloved was devastated, though not too devastated to accept gifts from her adoring public, all while contemplating how this tragic turn of events could actually help her win prom queen.

Heathers RecapSadly, Heather would never get to wear the crown. After discovering the truth about Kurt’s murder, a high-speed chase ensued, with J.D. in hot pursuit of Heather (and her Uber driver). And by the time it was over, Heather had slit her throat on a barbed-wire fence, eventually dying in a pile of flowers. Fortunately, she was able to get one last dig in at J.D. with her final breath: “Tell your mom to spit out the Devil’s jizz before you tongue kiss her in hell.” (Oh, Heather, classy until the very end.)

With Heather Duke out of the running for prom queen, Heather Chandler’s chances significantly increased, inspiring her to end her campaign to get the dance shut down. This selfish act enraged Veronica enough to (finally!) cut ties with Heather Chandler, just as J.D.’s slaying of Kurt and Heather Duke inspired her to turn down his promposal. The episode ended with J.D., Veronica and Heather Chandler — fuming in separate limos — en route to the prom from hell.

Your thoughts on how Paramount Network’s Heathers “ended” (keeping in mind that a tenth episode exits and would ostensibly to wrap this whole thing up)? Grade the “finale” below, then drop a comment with your full review.