Wayward Pines Recap: He So Corn-y

Wayward Pines Ben Dies

If next spring’s crop of Wayward Pines tomatoes is a little redder and juicier than the usual, we’ll know who to thank. (And no, Jason, you’re not getting credit for this one — even if it’s your “clear and severe” strategy that adds a little extra fertilizer to the fields.)

Rebel leader Ben Burke’s blood spills out into the acreage just outside the electrified fence protecting the last members of the human race, a pack of Abbies tearing into his flesh with glee and the town’s cretin* overlord Jason totally indifferent to his plight. (*Thanks, Theo, for the perfect word to describe Herr Fuhrer, or however he’s describing himself in his head.)

I’m not sure Xander’s fate is any less grim — the Abbies don’t seem like the type to hold a prisoner hostage in cool storage for a few days while they look up recipes on Epicurious for “Roast of Hunky Double Agent With Onions and Fresh Corn.” But at least Theo’s back inside on good behavior, stitching up Enemy No. 2, reconnecting with his “wife” and trying not to involuntarily shudder whenever his receptionist Arlene silently creeps up behind him.

Read on for a recap of Season 2, Episode 2 (“Blood Harvest”).

ONE OUT OF THREE AIN’T BAD? | Jason broadcasts one of Pilcher’s creepy fireside chats — Theme: “You’re the future of humanity… but we’ll totally execute you if you f–k with our rules” — then broadcasts footage of Ben, Xander and Theo exiled outside the wall. Except the Abbies aren’t bearing down on them — they’re throwing themselves against the electrified fence, their bodies piling up and creating a charred, fleshy ladder they can use to scale the barrier and attack the town. Xander gets dragged off. Ben flees the scene. And Theo gets pulled back inside city lines by a soldier — only because Carrie’s gotten half-gutted by a resourceful critter and needs medical attention.

Theo patches up Jason’s main squeeze — but only after demanding to see Rebecca and get some answers about where the heck he’s woken up after a loooong time in cryogenic sleep. Later, he appeals to his patient’s ego — “You have Jason’s ear, right?” — and she encourages her guy to forge a peaceful alliance, arguing that “our lives are worth his arrogance.”

Jason, however, isn’t about to extend a second chance to Ben, who’s outside the wall shouting about how Jason doing harm to a fellow First Gen is “a death sentence.” As Jason’s military leaders grow uneasy about one of their own being left outside alone, their boss doesn’t waver: He shuts off the video feed and lets Ben pay the ultimate price for his insurgency.

FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD! | As the town grows restless (and malnourished) over the food rations, one of Pilcher’s main men C.J. (Djimon Hounsou) insists it’s time to harvest the crops outside the wall. They do it under cover of moonlight, and while I keep expecting a total and grotesque bloodbath, the new flamethrowers carried by the Wayward Pines militia seem to completely neutralize the evolutionary aberrations before them. Soon it’s all “You get a carrot! And you get a carrot! And you get a carrot!” And Rebecca even makes a whole salad for Theo. As the episode ends, Jason notices it’s like the night before Christmas on the video monitors: Not an Abby is stirring… not an Abby is even in sight! Have they run off for parts less fiery? That one critter screaming and eyeballing the wall again in the closing seconds of the episode makes me think otherwise.
Abbies fear fire? Or do they?

IF HE’S IN CRYO THEN YOU BETTER PUT A RING ON IT | Rebecca finally has to resort to slapping Theo upside the head to convince him it’s been a full three years — not just a day — since his last memory of Hawaii, and that she’s had to build a life as a beautician (not the architect she is by training) because that’s what got assigned to her. Apparently, the duo was never married in their past life, not judging by Jason’s incredulous “We’re married?” as he looks at the gold band on his hand.

Still, questions abound about the ridiculously sexy Rebecca’s loyalties. When Theo notices the local ice-cream shop is named after her favorite Harvard professor, Rebecca admits she redesigned it after it burnt down, and was allowed to choose its name. But could she be a bigger supporter of Jason’s than we realize? (Note, she never really says anything bad about dear leader.) That could be bad news for Theresa, who’s mad as hell and reminding everyone she bumps into that her First-Gen son is in Abbyland. She finally goes to Rebecca for help — since Theo managed to return to Wayward Pines from his exile — but it’s unclear what will be the outcome of their interaction.

IN OTHER NEWS… | Megan reaffirms her status as Worst Teacher Ever by hauling out a dead Abby for her students to see, then cooing, “As long as we stay unified, we are perfectly safe.” Saying it twice with a creepy frozen smile on your face is not going to make the kids feel any more confident about their future, girl, K? Meanwhile, Theo hasn’t gotten the whole hang of keeping your head down and your throat from being torn into ground chuck. When Jason visits him at work, they have a terse conversation, and Theo gets in the kill shot: “You don’t think I could do your job? Fine. But we both know you can’t do mine.” SMDH… that is gonna come back to haunt him.

Your turn. What did you think of this week’s Wayward Pines? Drop your thoughts in the comments!

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