Best TV Quotes Oct. 4

Quotes of the Week: The Goldbergs, CSI, Masters of Sex, Grey's and More

Stuck inside the house while Hurricane Joaquin does a number on the East Coast? (Or just looking for a reason to procrastinate?)

As always, TVLine can provide the perfect distraction in the form of Quotes of the Week.

This time around, we’ve got NASCAR racing tips courtesy of Family Guy, a J. Lo diss on Empireyou know the one we’re talking about — plus double doses of Grey’s Anatomy, Fresh Off the Boat, Once Upon a Time and Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Check out the gallery below – or click here for direct access — then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Mr. Tran K says:

    Steve and Danny’s one liners are vintage H5O (not referring to the original series).

  2. Carol G says:

    No love for CSI? — Grissom, holding an illegal shark fin– “It looks like someone jumped the shark”.

  3. DarkDefender says:

    Not sure when the cut off is for shows, but there were a ton of great quotes in Doctor Who this week.. And a bunch of funny “quote” index cards as well.
    My favorite line:
    “Shirley just being around my makes you clever by osmosis.” ~ Twelve

  4. Anna says:

    Oh, I still miss Mark! I was surprised that it wasn’t a small bonding moment for Amelia and Callie since Amelia grew up with Mark.

  5. Daphne says:

    The STD joke actually made it on Brooklyn 99 last year when Charles was planning his wedding (and distributing hundreds of STDs)!