Happy Mother’s Day, TVLine readers!

We couldn’t afford to get you all flowers, but will you settle for a bouquet of the week’s funniest zingers, retorts and one-liners?

Indeed, the latest Quotes of the Week features advice to the damned on Revenge, some gay talk on black-ish, a twisted Tinder on Criminal Minds, a friend of Dorothy on Wendy Williams, a final bit of Kalinda-ness on The Good Wife and much, much more.

So click through the gallery below for the full rundown — then hit the comments to share your thoughts and share any goodies we inevitably missed!

Quotes of the Week for May 10, 2015

Launch Gallery