Quotes of the Week From Scandal, Suits, Jane the Virgin, SNL and More

And the award for Best TV Zinger by a Protagonist’s Mother Throwing Shade at Clueless Minions goes to…

Mmm-hmmm, it’s Oscar Sunday — but we’re handing out trophies of a different variety by honoring 28 LOL-inducing pieces of dialogue via Quotes of the Week.

This time around we’ve got a fear of carbs on Person of Interest, a Star Wars reference on Justified, a Broadway review on Scandal, a terminating moment on Two and a Half Men and so much more!

Click through the gallery below for all that and more — then hit the comments to share your faves, plus any statuette-worthy one-liners we inevitably missed!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Laura says:

    ewww get that away from me

  2. Laura says:

    Reblogged this on Autism and Ally and commented:

  3. RedReddington says:

    How could you not include any of The Blacklist’s Reddington quotes? His conversations with Glen from the DMV had me literally laughing out loud.

  4. Tahoe Mike says:

    Your site hasn’t been rendering properly in firefox all week. this article was especially bad. Had to scroll way down to find captions.

  5. Avery says:

    There should be a whole section devoted to cicely Tyson’s character!

  6. Kim&Bey says:

    Rishi is golden, I hope he is made a series regular since he’s going to be an uncle and all..I love his back and forth with Mindy.I can watch them all day, they are the bestest! :)
    To add, I have never watched JTV and was not planning to but Rogelio seems to be comedy gold on this show, his quotes kill me everytime.

  7. abz says:

    Really? That’s the quote you guys chose for The Flash? Not even the one from the scene where Cisco was referencing movies with Joe or when he said that there had to be a better way of phrasing what Stein said.
    Also, you should’ve included a bonus quote for HTGAWM. Cicely Tyson had some hilarious lines in the show.

    • S. says:

      Yes. Like,” We have a guy who turn himself into a poison gas.” “Really?” “Dude, that was week three.”

    • esteban says:

      time for the weekly twisted knickers because OPINIONS arent identical across all human beings. lmao. love this feature, keep it up TVline!

  8. big cheddar says:

    That quote from Sleepy Hollow killed me.

  9. Briggs says:

    The conversations between Ronnie and Dr. Stein were hilarious. And I admit, Arrow was many things last week, but funny wasn’t one of them.

  10. Wes says:

    That’s not the only good line Mama said on HTGAWM, how did her Student/Teacher comment not make it?

  11. Izzie Duquette says:

    I was sure the “Protagonist’s Mother Throwing Shade at Clueless Minions” Award was going to Mary’s mother on Reign. The way she cut down Lola was amazing.