True Blood Finale Recap: Kill Bill?

True Blood Series Finale

“What if all I want right now is to see you live?” Sookie kicked off Sunday’s True Blood series finale by laying her demands for Bill on the line — but did she get her wish?

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Ultimately… no, no she did not. “Show me the true death, and you’ll be setting us both free,” he begged, suggesting that she use her “True Kindness” fairy ball on him, thus relieving herself of both him and her fairy-ness in one fell swoop.

It ended up being a murder/funeral for the ages: Bill crawled into his coffin, with Sookie’s fairy ball dramatically hovering over him. And while she ultimately couldn’t kill him that way — she decided to stake him instead — she got the deed done. Regardless of your ‘ship, you can’t tell me your heart didn’t break into a million pieces watching Sookie mourn the love of her life.

True Blood Series FinaleUP IN SMOKE | In an unprecedented — but not at all unwelcome — move of trickery, Eric and Pam let Sarah Newlin escape, before sending Mr. Gus and his Yakuza cronies (literally) up in flames. (Rest in pieces, you forgettable fools.)

Another surprise was Sarah’s desperate plea for Pam to turn her into a vampire, even offering to go full-lesbian in exchange. When Sarah referred to herself as a potential Tara replacement, I honestly thought Pam was going to rip her throat out; instead, she offered up this killer line: “I wouldn’t let you go down on me for a billion dollars.” (Cue the slow clap.)

WEDDING BELL BLUES | With more than a little help from Papa Bill, Hoyt asked Jessica to marry him. And while she was disappointed by the lack of romance, she couldn’t exactly deny Bill his dying wish. That said, how awkward was watching Hoyt ask Jason to be his best man? (And how crappy has this whole vacation been for Brigett? She had one fight with Hoyt, then the next morning, he’s marrying his vampire ex-girlfriend.) I also thought Andy’s “love is love” speech during the ceremony was a nice reminder of the LGBT allegory this show once was.

HAPPILY EVER AFTERS | Viewers were treated to an epic flash-forward at the end of the hour, revealing how our favorite characters — and Sam’s baby mama — ended up. Here goes:

* Eric and Pam become billionaires off of New Blood.

* Jason and Brigett get married (I assume) and start a family of their own.

* Sam and Nicole come home for Thanksgiving, alive and well.

* Lastly, Sookie marries… someone… and gets pregnant! (Update: Despite the uncertainty of a wedding ring, I’m sticking with my Sookie-is-married statement, unless proven otherwise, because of her pregnancy. She may be a fang-banging fairy princess, but Sookie Stackhouse is still a woman of traditional values.)

So… let’s talk about those endings. Are you sad Bill died? Who do you think Sookie ended up marrying? Did the finale leave you satisfied? Drop a comment with your thoughts below.

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