American Idol Top 9 Results Recap: 30 Rocks!

MB1_6098But wait, I barely had time to finish my glass of sauv blanc!

Yes, folks, American Idol cut its results-show telecast to 30 minutes, but fret not. Even in a leaner, meaner format, we still had time for Harry Connick Jr. to brutally interrupt the Homespun Wisdom of Our Lady of Lopez, the Top 9 contestants to offer meaningless (and probably producer-directed) chit-chat over Wednesday-night dinner and Randy Jackson to throw a threadbare cliché (“the cream is starting to rise to the top!”) into his 17 seconds of screentime. (Spoiler alert: That’s still too much!)

Janelle Monae — an artist I love, it’s worth noting — was shoehorned into the half hour to perform a so-so song from the conspicuously placed sponsor, Rio 2. And yet Idol grads like Elise Testone, Aloha Mi’Sho, Melinda Doolittle, Matt Giraud, Kris Allen, Adam Lambert and Kellie Pickler have yet to strut their stuff on the results-show stage this season.

[Insert irked side-eye here.]

Let’s get to the results, shall we?

Sent to Safety (in No Particular Order)
Jena Irene
Malaya Watson
Alex Preston
Jessica Meuse
Caleb Johnson
Dexter Roberts

Bottom 3 Vote-Getters
C.J. Harris
Majesty Rose
Sam Woolf

Lowest Vote-Getter
Majesty Rose

“Save-Me Song”
Majesty delivered a slightly unhinged, very wobbly rendition of “Happy” that landed somewhere on the intersection of I Don’t Belong Here! and I’ve Got to Get Out of This Place! The performance itself didn’t warrant a save, but I kinda wanted the judges to use it anyhow, considering Majesty — even in her lowest moments — is more interesting than C.J., Dexter, and Sam (all of whom have fallen into tiresome, predictable and not terribly satisfying patterns over the last few weeks).

But nope, despite what Keith called “the hardest deliberation” at the judges’ table this season, the vote was not unanimous, and Majesty was sent packing.

The woman should’ve sung “Fast Car” when she had the chance!

And with that, I turn it over to you…

What did you think of Season 13 Top 9 results night? Did the right contestant get the boot? If not, who should’ve been cut? And how did you feel sabout Janelle Monae in the performance slot instead of an Idol graduate? Sound off in the comments!