Revenge Recap: In Enemy Hands

Revenge Season 3 RecapIn this week’s Revenge, not only does Victoria adhere to the old “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” adage by moving Emily into Grayson Manor, it appears that the queen bee at last has the goods on her nemesis when she opens the Pandora’s box that the erstwhile Amanda marked with that telltale infinity symbol.

But if you think that’s the end of Emily’s vendetta, you’ve sorely underestimated both her ingenuity and, as this episode’s title suggests, her “Endurance.”

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MOTHER’S LITTLE HELPER | Although Patrick and Victoria argue bitterly after she reveals that Daniel shot Emily – he even gets slapped for suggesting that, when the chips are down, she’ll always “choose [her] blood over [her] bastard!” – he remains determined to earn her trust by retrieving the infinity box from Nolan’s. How? First, he heads for the beach, where Emily’s BFF does a full-on Daniel Craig coming out of the surf before his ex can ask for a second (third?) second chance. (Haven’t they had more break-ups than dates at this point?) Next, Patrick does his darnedest to get Nolan drunk. But, when he realizes that his mark is so onto him that he’s been drinking watertinis for half the night, he gets what he wants the old-fashioned way… by clocking him with a fire log. (Not a coy euphemism, just to be clear.)

WHAT DOES THE BOX SAY? | Meanwhile, Emily’s decision to give up on bringing down the Graysons gets her a sucker punch to her bullet wounds from Niko, who we learn is Takeda’s daughter and is apparently no fonder of quitters than he was. But it’s not until Victoria informs her foe that her injuries have left her unable to bear children – that is, unless she wants to fake some more pregnancies – that she regains her fighting spirit. Anyway, it’s a good thing that, before his “date” with Patrick, Nolan replaced the real infinity box with a more imaginative one that paints Emily as a gold digger. While Victoria plots to get her daughter-in-law banished from her social circle, the “grifter” secures her place in the Grayson family by holding an impromptu press conference at which she claims that she was shot by… Lydia!

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LOVE AND WAR | While all this is going on, Daniel is chasing after Sara more or less nonstop. (Neither learning that her suicide attempt was nothing more than a drunken accident nor getting a black eye from Jack deters him.) Finally, after he tells his ex that Emily lied about being pregnant – but not that he shot her twice and watched her fall off a yacht – he wins her back. (Yeah, this’ll go well.) So, of course, he’s not thrilled to learn that he’s now stuck in a loveless marriage to the very woman he tried to kill. “Screw you!” are, in fact, his exact words to his bride/would-be victim. Aiden isn’t too thrilled, either, when instead of running away with him, Emily says she’s staying put. “Hate is a lot like love” are her exact words. “You can’t force it. You can’t fight it. You just have to embrace it when it comes along.” So, it’s like a nutty Revenge plot twist, then.

TICKING TIME BOMBS | Off his breakup with Emily, Aiden turns to Niko, who, if you ask me, is pretty quick to forgive him for leaving her (and their relationship) behind in Japan with a broken promise to return. He’ll soon have a bigger problem with his former and now-current lover, however: She’s decided to avenge her father’s murder — which, if you’ll recall, her former and now-current lover committed! Elsewhere, Conrad schemes to replace Voulez’s hatchet job on Lydia with one on Emily, and Nolan decides it’s past time for Patrick to find out what kind of a she-monster his mother really is.

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? Emily and Daniel’s version of The War of the Roses looks like it will be fun. And he’s certainly a whole lot more interesting as a full-on villain. But I doubt I much care about Niko’s plan to avenge Takeda. (Then again, I never much cared about Takeda.) And could someone please explain to me what the hell kind of a magazine Voulez is? Because it sounds like Vogue, only apparently a Vogue with timely, hard-hitting, Pulitzer-quality stories… about random socialites. Hit the comments… and help!