Mistresses Recap: Truth and Consequences

Mistresses RecapThey say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

On Monday’s Mistresses, however, Karen (who puts the “lose” in “delusional”) offered an alternate viewpoint: Insanity is going into a deposition, ignoring even the most mundane details of your lawyer’s instructions and confessing to a wide variety of professional malpractice and personal misdeeds — while implicating yourself in a possible felony — just so you can turn the shank-eye on your romantic rival, flip your silky cascade of hair and sigh, “And now my conscience is clear — I doubt you can say the same.”

Oh, Karen, it’s all well and good that you’re taking the moral high road in your battle against that ice-blonde beyotch Elizabeth Gray, but what’s the point when said road is leading straight to the state pen?!

Anyhow, despite being out of the country on vacation, I feel obligated to attempt to finish out recapping duties on my second-favorite summer series of all time (right behind American Idol). So let’s cut to this week’s shenanigans while keeping it way wayyyy briefer than uzh.

KAREN | Our graduate of the University of Southern California at Self-Destruction got stupid honest during her aforementioned deposition, torpedoing her romantic prospects with hot business partner Jacob and hot insurance investigator Anthony Newsome in the process.  I don’t know why Karen is poisoning the waters with the torrid twosome while acting like a hurt teen with Elizabeth’s stalker son Sam, but perhaps there’s a naughty conjugal-visit fantasy in play?

SAVI | At Joss’ urging, Harry tries to sneak a peek at Savi’s paternity test results, but not even his flawless blonde locks and Aussie accent can crack the flustered receptionist. Savi, meanwhile, after getting set up by Dom on a cushy trip to NYC, wonders if she has any reason to fight her feelings for her ragingly hot coworker/possible baby daddy — especially since her estranged ex doesn’t seem like he’s that into her.

APRIL | Despite breaking up on account of Richard’s fistfight with her not-actually-dead spouse, April and Richard spend a day at an amusement park with their BFF daughters and wind up reconciling — and presumably sharing churros — by day’s end.

JOSS | Oh dear. Joss literally translates new girlfriend Alex’s innuendo-stuffed chat about craving meat into an excuse to have on-the-job sex with dashing French boss Olivier. Needless to say, Alex responds with all the exasperation and hurt of a Pug who’s just had her bowl of kibble hurled unceremoniously into the backyard. Is it insane of me to think this is headed for a threeway (or fourway, if you count Joss’ magnificent lion tank top)?