True Blood Recap: Die Another Day

true blood recap season 6Though Sookie gnaws open her own wrist to revive Warlow in “Life Matters,” this Sunday’s True Blood – the season’s penultimate – she refuses to allow Bill to take her fiancé away to save all the series regulars from the Sun Parlor of Doom. “Get Eric to give everyone transfusions,” she suggests (not verbatim) before blasting her ex out of fairy land. “After all, since his attack on Warlow, he has more of the half-fae, half-vamp’s blood in him than Warlow does.” But it doesn’t turn out to be Eric who gets drained and plays the hero. Who does? Read on and find out!

THE MORE, THE BURIER | After Sookie Star Trek beams into Terry’s funeral – possibly the longest memorial in recorded history for a B player (I loved him, too, but half the episode? Really?) – we catch up on the latest gossip (Hoyt’s mama reveals that he has a homely new girlfriend), flash back to the deceased’s first encounters with Arlene, Sam and Lafayette, and get treated to a somber musical number. “I really don’t see,” Grandma Bellefleur remarks afterward, “what was the point of that.” Priceless.

REVENGE IS SWEET | Meanwhile, Eric daywalks into Vamp Camp, turns loose the prisoners and rips! the! junk! off! of the torture doc who infected Nora with hep V. Later, happening upon Jason looking particularly anemic, he heals the hunk with his blood and teases, “When you dream of me, dream of nice things.” Next, Eric’s about to kill the resident shrink… until the sleazoid brags that he’ll die happy because he got to bang Pam. Hearing this, Eric decides to save the “honor” of dispatching him for his firstmade.

true blood steve dies season 6DON’T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON ME | Just outside of Vamp Camp, Sarah – blathering Bible quotations every step of the way – scales the Sun Parlor of Doom and exposes Jessica, Tara, Willa and Co. to the light. But aha! She’s too late. Bill has already made his way to Vamp Camp, finished what Eric started with the torture doc (by stomping on his head) and realized that he doesn’t need Eric at all, he can use his own Warlow-saturated blood to feed and thus save everyone. The only fanger not spared? Steve. Thrust into the glare by Eric, Sarah’s former husband looks up at her and yells, “I love you… Jason Stackhouse!” Classic.

LIVE TO TELL | Being fed on by a roomful of desperate vampires takes such a toll on Bill that Lilith’s version of the Supremes – you know, the three bloody, naked Lil Liliths – show up and tell him, “Your time on earth is over.” To which he responds more or less, “Hell to the no!” And luckily, all it takes to perk him up again is for James to feed him back some of the blood he so generously shared. (Gee, that was easy!)

THE TURNING POINT | Upon apprehending Sarah, a furious Jason yells that if she can talk to God, he can talk to Jesus, and “he says to tell you you’re an average [bleepin’] lay.” Aca-ouch. Jesus also says it’s okay for Jason to bring a permanent end to Sarah’s reign of terror. But when push comes to shove, he just can’t pull the trigger. Nearby, Pam and Eric exchange a meaningful look. “Don’t you dare leave me,” she whispers. Yet he does exactly that, flying off into the wild blue yonder.

OK, your turn. What did you think of the episode? Did you enjoy the funeral? (I was a big Terry fan, but did he have to be eulogized by even cousin Portia?) Were you relieved or disappointed that Jason didn’t do away with Sarah? Do you think Eric is really gone for good? Hit the comments.