True Blood Recap: The Long Kiss Goodnight

true blood recap season 6In Sunday’s episode of True Blood, Eric turns to just about the last person you’d expect – and certainly the last person he wants to – in hopes of canceling Nora’s date with the Grim Reaper. But can even Billith’s “divine” blood cure her of hep V? Read on to find out (as if you haven’t already watched “In the Evening”).

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GRAVE MATTERS | After Eric sneaks Nora out of Vamp Camp and we’re “treated” to a bewigged flashback in which we see his first meeting with his future “sister” – she’s dying even then (of the plague) – she finally croaks. (Guess Godric and his amazing celestial backlighting weren’t available to cameo?) And surprise – Not Kate Beckinsale’s passing is actually kinda moving, mainly because Eric is so torn up about it that he wails like a girl. (On true blood nora diessecond thought, he could’ve just been grossed out: She melts in his arms like a wide-eyed British candle. Very cool and very disgusting.)

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED | Meanwhile, at Vamp Camp, Jason reveals himself to Jessica and tells her that he’s there to save her. “Aw, ya shouldn’t have,” she pretty much says, “but since ya did, can you be a doll and bring me that hot vampire who refused to rape me? I’d really like to thank him with some consensual sex.” As if that’s not ouchy enough, once Sarah’s done aca-accosting the Governor’s severed head, she has Jason bloodied up and tossed in with the hungry gen-pop femmes fatales.

METHOD OF MODERN LOVE | After Sookie informs Barlow that her shagging him was in no way indicative of an agreement to be his bride, she Star Trek-beams herself out of Fairy Land to comfort not-at-all-merry widow Arlene. Later, Sook and Lafayette discover that, days before Terry was shot, he took out a ginormous life insurance policy on himself. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell Arlene while she’s drinking her way into a fine Dina Lohan impersonation,” they decide. Later still, Billith implores Sook to return Barlow to Bon Temps so that he can save everyone from the dreaded sun parlor in his vision.

A HAIRY SITUATION | Though Sam totally missed Luna’s funeral – “Luna who?” he doesn’t bother to ask while having “See ya!” shower sex with Nicole – he defies Alcide’s orders to stay away from Bon Temps in order to go home for Terry’s burial. At the doghouse a few scenes later, Alcide lies to his pack that Sam and Nicole are dead. “Oh, really?” Rikki kinda barks. “Then how come we have Nicole and her mother right here and breathing?” Ruh-roh, Shaggy!

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? I thought, as usual, the best lines were Pam’s. (“I was a whore in my human life,” she informed her turned-on shrink. “It wasn’t a coincidence.”) However, Jason ran a close second, worrying that Jessica was suffering from “stockholder’s syndrome.” And is it just me, or is the writing for Anna Camp about 1,000 times better this time around than in her first stint as Sarah? The bit where she’s gonna cover up the Governor’s demise 9 to 5/Weekend at Bernie’s style? Genius.