Survivor: One World: Laugh, Scream, or Vomit?

colton survivorSo few likable players, so many conflicting emotions. That pretty much sums up my feelings on this week’s episode of Survivor: One World, which saw the all-male Manono tribe dominate the women in the immunity challenge, only to hand over their idol and head to tribal council because, um, Colton doesn’t like hanging around poor people?

Honestly, I howled with laughter when the Manono chumps sauntered into Tribal, and Jeff Probst gave one of his classic on-the-spot assessments: “24 seasons, some 400 Tribal Councils — never had a tribe arrive at Tribal Council after winning immunity.”

Things quickly took a turn for the infuriating, though, when Colton was asked to explain why, exactly, he disliked Bill enough to lead the charge to give up his team’s immunity (under the guise that Leif’s disloyalty in revealing Bill’s at-risk status mean he’d be the one getting the boot).

Colton, you see, had a problem with the fact that Bill, the only black player on his team, made his living as a quote-unquote struggling stand-up comic. “Get a real job,” hissed the self-proclaimed country-club gay, adding that even though he went to “a private, all-white school,” he did indeed have African-American people in his life. And who would that be, asked Probst. “My housekeeper,” replied Colton, a revolting/mischievous grin spreading across his face. Combined with his reference last week to Bill being “ghetto trash” and his dismissal of Leif as a “munchkin,” I’m ready to declare Colton the worst person ever to play Survivor, and one of the most deplorable people on TV right now.

That said, Colton’s got an immunity idol, and so everyone on his team voted for Bill. Not even Bill voted for Colton — even after the kid declared class warfare on him. Amazing. And thus I ask: Laugh, scream, vomit, or all of the above? Sound off below!

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