We know, we know. You’re nervous about Irene. We are, too. So to distract
ourselves you from our your worries, we’ve compiled this reassuring list of hurricane-themed episodes of classic TV series. Because c’mon, if everyone from Homer Simpson to Miss Ellie Ewing can withstand a little wind, we’ve gotta be able to, right?
The Golden Girls | It was in 1991’s “The Monkey Show” episode that Sophia taught us all that, when a storm is big enough, you don’t say it’s coming, you say it’s a-coming. NBC, meanwhile, taught us the power of cross-promotion when it turned the storm plot into an all-night event with fellow Saturday-night comedies Empty Nest and Nurses.
CSI: Miami | After 2003’s “Hurricane Anthony” struck, Horatio and Co. seemed to happen upon as many murder victims as they did downed trees.
Dawson’s Creek | The storm outside in 1998’s “Hurricane” episode couldn’t hold a candle to the one that raged inside after Dawson’s dad found out that his mom had been unfaithful.
The Simpsons | In 1996’s “Hurricane Neddy,” only a single home was destroyed, and based on the title alone, you can probably guess which one of Homer’s neighborinos it belonged to.
Dallas | Odd. When a hurricane allowed kidnappers to isolate the Ewing women in 1978’s “Winds of Vengeance” episode, they forced Sue Ellen to sing “People” rather than make her stop.
The Nanny | After Fran’s island getaway was ruined in 1996’s “Hurricane Fran,” bucks-up Mr. Sheffield consoled her with a jaunt to Greece.
The Family Guy, American Dad and The Cleveland Show | If you find yourself with power and Internet, you can kill some time scouring the web for the hurricane-themed crossover episodes that were shelved in April after storms killed hundreds of people in the Southeast.
And now, some reader suggestions:
The West Wing | In the series’ seventh episode, “The State Dinner,” a Class-4 hurricane puts a USS aircraft carrier in jeopardy, inflicting guilt on those who had ordered it away from safe harbor. (Season 2’s “Two Cathedrals” similarly featured a tropical storm.)
The Facts of Life | In Season 6, a hurricane gets the girls’ two-part Spring Break getaway off to a rocky start.
The X-Files | The Season 6 episode “Agua Mala” sent Mulder and Scully to Florida in the midst of a storm, ultimately stranding them in an apartment building with a sea monster that was not cuddly and not named Sigmund.
One Tree Hill | In Season 8’s “Darkness on the Edge of Town,” Brooke storms off after a fight with Julian, only to discover Lauren’s car crashed on the bridge with Jamie, Chuck and Madison locked inside. Lauren’s car ultimately topples into the drink, but (whew) everyone gets saved.
Murphy Brown | While covering a hurricane in Florida, Murphy gets blown away by more than 85 mph winds — namely, the possibility that she might be pregnant plus a proposal from boyfriend Peter (played by Scott Bakula).
The Pretender | In a Season 1 episode, Jarod avenges the death of a refugee’s parents, presuming he can slip away scot-free into the frenzy of a hurricane — only to be caught off guard by Miss Parker.
The Glades | The A&E series’ third episode found the investigation into a young boy’s discovery of a dead body stymied by an approaching squall.
Invasion | This ABC sci-fier was literally born of a hurricane, one that masked the arrival of water-based ETs in a small Florida town. Not-so-fun fact: Promos for the premiere were tweaked to downplay the fictional deluge, in the wake of the very real Katrina that hit the U.S. just weeks prior.
Um, gee. Suddenly, we don’t feel so reassured. Wake us when cable comes back on?