The TVLine-Up: TV Worth Watching This Week

Coming to your screen this week: A possible detour in a Pretty Little romance, White Collar buttons up its summer season, and True Blood‘s Sookie gets down and dirty. As but a supplement to the fresh features and reporting TVLine has coming your way, here are 35 programs to keep on your radar.

8/7c Bachelor Pad (ABC) |
If you’re among those eagerly anticipating Season 2 of this Bachelor/ette offshoot, I hope you are really eager for it, because this opener is three flippin’ hours long.
8 pm How I Met Your Mother (CBS) | Repeat No. 1: “This game show host once cameo’d on a Monday-night CBS sitcom.” Repeat No. 2: Lily’s fertility doc looks awfully (meaning awesomely) familiar.
9 pm The Closer (TNT) | Just in case there were any doubts how serious this lawsuit against Brenda is: This week subpoenas go out to the MCD boys. Well, all but one of them.
9 pm Warehouse 13 (Syfy) | Pete, Myka and H.G. Wells pursue an artifact that has eluded three generations of Warehouse agents.
9 pm Switched at Birth (ABC Family) | Summer finale: Bay meets her biological father (played by Gilles Marini), and instantly feels icky about a certain Sex and the City movie scene.
9 pm One Tree Hill (The CW) | One baby that (presumably) was not switched at birth is Haley and Nathan’s No. 2, (re)born here tonight.
10 pm Rizzoli & Isles (TNT) | Colin Egglesfield aka the son Erica Kane never had, but did, guest stars as Jane’s brother, freshly sprung from the clink.

How I Met Your Mother Preview: Kal Penn’s Role, Barney’s Love Hexagon, Robin’s Act of Violence

8 pm Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family) |
If only because “A” sent me cookies the other day when I was in L.A. for TCA, I will suggest you tune in to watch Aria start growing verrrrry close to Jason.
9 pm White Collar (USA Network) | I was watching this midseason finale over the weekend, and you could cut the tension with a frickin’ knife, as Peter and guest star Beau Bridges schemed to lead Neal into a masterful trap. And then the screener froze midway through. And then I screamed.
9 pm America’s Got Talent (NBC) | This week’s acts were culled from YouTube, so expect at least one group of cats hazzing cheeseburgers.
9 pm Memphis Beat (TNT) | A storm strands Dwight and Whitehead inside a mansion, where a murder mystery in short order plays out, Ergo the episode title, “Ten Little Memphians.”
10 pm HawthoRNe (TNT) | Cristina makes some – and I quote – “seismic life decisions.”
10 pm Covert Affairs (USA Network) | Midseason finale: The botched defection of a Chinese scientist threatens to have massive implications for Annie and – wait for it – her sister…?!

8 pm So You Think You Can Dance (Fox) |
The final four hit the dance floor; elimination night is Thursday at 8.
8:30 pm Modern Family (ABC) | Gloria’s attempted abandonment of her accent comes at a most frightening time for Claire.
9 pm Royal Pains (USA Network) | Famed news personality Matt Mitovich Lauer appears as himself, when Evan books an anxious Hank for the Today show.
10 pm Damages (DirecTV) | While Patty’s granddaughter has a health scare, Ellen’s case against High Star is set back when Boorman undermines her witness. Fun fact: The episode’s title is “We’ll Just Have To Find Another Way to Cut The Balls Off This Thing.”
10 pm Primetime Nightline: Famous and Underage (ABC) | A look at child celebrities past and present, including unsettling showcases such as Toddlers & Tiaras.

Big Bang Theory Scoop! Things Get ‘Messy’ for Leonard and Penny, Plus More Nerdy Fun

8 pm The Big Bang Theory (CBS) |
The boys play detective when Sheldon[‘s MMORPG character] is robbed.
8:30 pm Parks and Recreation (NBC) | Ron schools a visiting student on how the government works.
9 pm Burn Notice (USA Network) | Michael, Jesse and returning guest star Lauren Stamille must go all Rambo when they are surrounded by unfriendlies in a Caribbean jungle.
10 pm Suits (USA Network) | Mike is vexed when his assignment to reign in a modern-day Robin Hood risks exposing one of his deep, dark secrets.
10 pm Rookie Blue (ABC) | Did you see where the prez of ABC said he digs the idea of maybe someday running Rookie Blue during the regular TV season?
10 pm Wilfred (FX) | Wilfred decides to do Ryan a solid by helping him get at the true cause of death of his childhood dog. I imagine it will take some… sniffing around?

FX Renews Louie and Wilfred, Orders Record-Setting Two More Seasons of It’s Always Sunny

8 pm NFL Exhibition Game (Fox) |
It’s the Owners vs. Players Buccaneers vs. Chiefs!
9 pm Karaoke Battle USA (ABC) | Idol changed its name and network? You’d think there would have been a press release.
10 pm Haven (Syfy) | A wedding turns more grueling than usual when the party and guests get sealed off, and a wicked something begins attacking them one by one. This is why you should always have an open bar, folks.
10 pm Torchwood: Miracle Day (Starz) | I’m still burning mad about last week’s death. But looking ahead: With Gwen, Esther and Rex each trapped in separate places, it’s up to Jack to get to the bottom of things.

9 pm Doctor Who (BBC America) | A special hour serves up highlights from Matt Smith’s run as the Time Lord.
9 pm WrestleMania (NBC) | If you haven’t noticed, The TVLine-Up will never suggest that you watch Jersey Shore. But there might be some fun to be had here, when that Snooki person enters the ring as part of this highlight reel from the 27th annual season kick-off.

9 pm True Blood (HBO) |
One of the Sookie Stackhouse novels’ most famous scenes at long last makes it to the small screen. It involves a guy, a girl, and a shower (sort of).
9 pm Leverage (TNT) | With the skitters scattered, the con is back on, and with back-to-back episodes. The first hour involves a crooked funeral director; the second requires the team to stage their most intricate scheme ever.
9 pm Food Network Star (Food Network) | Season 7 finale: After one more elimination, the final two prep pilots for their prospective series.
10 pm Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO) | Jeff’s “courtship” of Ricky Gervais is waylaid by a waiter.
10 pm Breaking Bad (AMC) | Jesse’s disappearance puts Walter on edge — and mind you, this is a guy who only recently watched a punk bleed out in front of him for, like, 10 minutes.

Which of the above is must-see TV for you? And by all means, hit the comments to politely share tune-in recommendations of your own.

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